Connected
by mncali
Summary: Monica's life is picture perfect.....but what happens when all of a sudden the picture breaks? Horrible summary, please just try it out and review! FINAL CHAPTER UP!
1. Default Chapter

okay, this is a new series....which is prolly the last thing I need to start, but w/e! lol! anyway, this may seem plotless, but it's just the first chapter (read my a/n at the bottom!) so please read, enjoy, and review!  
  
disclaimer: the song, "i'm already there" is by lonestar, and the characters belong to bright, kaufmann and crane. well, except for micaela and ryan.  
  
"Mommy, when's Daddy gonna call?" Monica's four-year-old daughter, Micaela, asked.  
  
"Soon, sweetie," Monica promised, though she herself was wondering the same thing. She didn't need to worry, though. He always called.  
  
"He's gonna be home for my game, right?" six-year-old Ryan asked.  
  
Monica smiled, "Of course he is, Ry. He wouldn't miss it." Ryan grinned at Monica's words, which he knew were completely true. His father never missed his games, he knew that. He just wanted his mother's reassurance.  
  
Monica focused on washing the dinner dishes as Ryan and Micaela played in the living room. Every other plate or so, however, she'd glance at them, and their surroundings, her surroundings. She loved her surroundings. Her sprawling, gorgeous, clean Connecticut home, filled with photographs of her picterisque family.  
  
She loved her family. Her husband was.....well, just about perfect. She'd always known that, and she couldn't imagine regretting her marriage to him. At first, he hadn't been so certain about children, but once she'd finally convinced him, he'd become an amazing father to Ryan, and then Micaela.  
  
"Yeah," Monica said softly under her breath, "My life's pretty perfect."  
  
Monica's thoughts were jolted as the phone rang shrilly. "Daddy!" Micaela screeched, and Ryan flipped off his telelvision program, running anxiously to the phone.  
  
"Hold on!" Monica laughed. She smiled and picked up the phone.  
  
"Hey, sweetie," a familiar voice said, "How're things?"  
  
"Well," Monica said softly, "I've got two very anxious kids who want to talk to you."  
  
Her husband laughed, "Put them on," he said happily.  
  
Micaela spoke to her father, and then Ryan, "Daddy, when are you coming home." Ryan's father said something, and Ryan's face filled with a grin. Finally, he said good-bye and handed the phone to Monica. "Daddy told me he's already here," Ryan said, smiling, "He's everywhere we look."  
  
Monica had to keep from crying, "Yeah, Ry, he is," she said, and shooed the kids back to family room. "Hey, baby," she said to her husband, "I really miss you."  
  
He sighed, "I miss you, too. These conferences are awful."  
  
Monica laughed, "Would they be better if I was there?"  
  
"Most definitely," he said, "Look, sweetie, I've got to go. I'll see you soon, okay? I love you."  
  
Monica smiled as his soft words, "Yeah. I love you too."  
  
"So much," he said gently.  
  
"So much," she replied, and hung up the phone. She clutched the receiver to her chest for a few moments, missing her husband incredibly, but reminding herself he'd be home soon enough. She grinned, and set the phone down. She joined Ryan and Micaela in the living room, and as they snuggled up to her to watch a movie, there was only one thought going through her mind. Life was good.  
  
He called her on the road  
  
From a lonely cold hotel room  
  
Just to hear her say I love you one more time  
  
And when he heard the sound  
  
Of the kids laughing in the background  
  
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye  
  
A little voice came on the phone  
  
And said "Daddy when you coming home"  
  
He said the first thing that came to his mind  
  
I'm already there  
  
Take a look around  
  
'm the sunshine in your hair  
  
I'm the shadow on the ground  
  
I'm the whisper in the wind  
  
I'm your imaginary friend  
  
And I know I'm in your prayers  
  
Oh I'm already there  
  
She got back on the phone  
  
Said I really miss you darling  
  
Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright  
  
Wish I was in your arms  
  
Lying right there beside you  
  
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight  
  
And I'll gently kiss your lips  
  
Touch you with my fingertips  
  
So turn out the light and close your eyes  
  
I'm already there  
  
Don't make a sound  
  
I'm the beat in your heart  
  
I'm the moonlight shining down  
  
I'm the whisper in the wind  
  
And I'll be there until the end  
  
Can you feel the love that we share  
  
Oh I'm already there  
  
We may be a thousand miles apart But I'll be with you wherever you are  
  
I'm already there  
  
Take a look around  
  
I'm the sunshine in your hair  
  
I'm the shadow on the ground  
  
I'm the whisper in the wind  
  
And I'll be there until the end  
  
Can you feel the love that we share  
  
Oh I'm already there  
  
Oh I'm already There  
  
TBC.....  
  
okay, i know this seems mushy, and stupid, and plotless, okay? and that's 'cause it is, well the first chapter is anyway. but it's JUST the first chapter! this story will have a plot, and it will not be just mush! so please review and tell me if you want the next chapter posted....don't base it on this, base it on.....whatever you want, my previous writing or whatever! thanks, and please review! 


	2. Plane Friends

okay, first off I just wanna say thanks. Your reviews were awesome and some very excellent authors reviewed my work which is just.....wow, I mean, it's awesome! So thanks, and please keep the reviews coming! Okay, I know that last chapter it seemed like everything was hunky dory and all, but things are about to change.....hehe, a few guessed that in their reviews. Anyway, please don't stop reading! Please enjoy this chapter and review, review, review!  
  
note: you'll realize in this chapter that chandler does not know any of the other "friends" however, that doesn't mean he isn't in the story. he is. BIG TIME!  
  
Disclaimer: not mine, 'cept Ryan and Micaela.  
  
***  
  
Richard Burke settled down into his airplane seat, thrilled he was finally going home. His three-day opthomologists conference had seemed to last about three years. But finally, he was going home. Home to his wife and his children. Home to Monica, Ryan and Micaela. Where he belonged.  
  
***  
  
"Anyone sitting here?" Richard looked up to see a young man, around Monica's age, standing in the aisle.  
  
Richard shook his head, "Nope, don't think so."  
  
The man sat down, "Thanks. Somebody took my seat, so I had to find a new one."  
  
"No problem," Richard said. "I'm Richard Burke."  
  
"Chandler Bing," Chandler said, extending his hand,which Richard shook.  
  
"So," Richard asked, "Going or leaving home?"  
  
"Leaving," Chandler said, "I'm going to work conference in Connecticut. What about you?"  
  
"Going home," Richard said, smiling at thought, "I had a conference here."  
  
Chandler nodded, "You live in Connecticut then? Where?"  
  
"Suburbs," Richard explained, "My wife wouldn't have it any other way."  
  
Chandler laughed. "So, you're married. Any kids?"  
  
Richard nodded, "Two from my first marriage, they're all grown up. But my wife, Monica, and I have two kids now. Ryan's six, Micaela's four." Richard whipped out his wallet, showing the family portrait he always kept there.  
  
"Gorgeous," Chandler commented.  
  
"How about you? Married? Kids?" Richard asked.  
  
Chandler shook his head, "Nope," he said, "Just me out here. I'm not much of a relationship guy."  
  
Richard laughed, "You may think that now," he said, "But just wait till you fall in love."  
  
Chandler laughed uneasily. Would he like to fall in love? Sure. But was it likely to happen? Definitely not.  
  
***  
  
"Folks, we're about thirty minutes from Hartford. We'll let you know when we're about to touch down," a voice announced over the airplane loudspeaker.  
  
Richard smiled. Almost home. "So," he said to Chandler, "What do you do?"  
  
"I'm a data processor," Chandler said, "Boring as hell, but it pays the bills. The worst part is these conferences though."  
  
Richard nodded sympathetically, "I hate conferences, too. I hate being away from my family."  
  
Chandler nodded, but didn't respond. He didn't have a family to miss, or to miss him. He never had, though, so he guessed he shouldn't be whining over it. There was nothing he could do about it.  
  
***  
  
Richard and Chandler both turned back to their magazines, until suddenly both were practically jolted out of their seats by turbulence. They both glanced at each other, confused. There hadn't been any warning of turbulence, and the flight had been smooth so far. "Uh, folks," the pilot announced, "We're, uh, having some problems with the engine. Nothing to worry ab-"  
  
Suddenly, the pilot's voice cut out. Richard's heart practically stopped, and he turned to Chandler. "What just happened?" he asked quietly.  
  
"I don't know," Chandler said, his voice shaking. Suddenly, Chandler's voice wasn't the only thing shaking, as the entire cabin began to rock.  
  
Chandler gripped the sides of his chair, and Richard did the same. Chandler shut his eyes, trying to block out the scene. But he couldn't block out the noises. Babies crying, adults screaming, some screaming out prayers. It was in that instant that both Chandler and Richard realized they were not touching down in Hartford.  
  
Struggling to remain in his seat, Richard pulled out his wallet and grasped the picture of his family in his hand. Slowly, he brought it up to his lips, and kissed his wife and children. "I love you," he whispered.  
  
Chandler heard Richard's words and realized that when the plane crashed, two children would be losing a father, if Richard didn't survive. But if Chandler died, there'd be no one to miss him. Chandler sighed, awaiting the end of his seemingly meaningless life. He opened his eyes and glanced at Richard one last time, giving him a shaky smile. Richard returned the action. Then, everything went black.  
  
***  
  
"Mommy, Mommy, a plane crash!" Ryan yelled out as he ran into the kitchen.  
Monica looked at her son, confused. "Huh, Ry?" she asked.  
"Micaela and I were watching cartoons and they got 'terupted," Ryan said quickly, "A plane crashed right in Connecticut."  
  
Monica got up from the table quickly and dashed into the living room. No, it couldn't be, she thought to herself. It was not, it could not be Richard's plane. There were thousands of planes up in the sky, the chances that it was Richard's plane were..........slim, but possible.  
  
"It has been confirmed that the plane which crashed about twenty minutes before it's touchdown in Hartford is American Airlines Flight 2667. The flight was coming from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and crashed in a corn field."  
  
Monica's heart was beating fiercely. Sure, Richard had been in Philadelphia, but hadn't he been flying United? She tried desperately to keep calm and she headed for Richard's office to grab the copy of his plane ticket he always left on his desk. "Mommy, what's wrong?" Micaela asked, seeing her reaction  
  
"Nothing, sweetie, Mommy just has to check something," Monica said shakily.  
  
"A plane crashed, Cae," Ryan said, "That means people died."  
  
"Died?" Micaela said, in awe.  
  
"Yeah, died."  
  
"Ryan, honey, be quiet," Monica said softly over her shoulder. She reached the office, and grabbed the ticket. And sure enough, it read "American Airlines. Flight 2667."  
  
***  
  
I love leaving you in suspense, don't I? Hehe! Anyway, please, please, please review the heck out of this chapther otherwise there won't be a chapter three (well, there will be, I just might not post it.......:P) so please review! 


	3. The News

allrighty, people, we've moved on to chapter three! Sorry it took me so long to post.....I was SUPPOSED to be writing stuff for school, but it's so much more fun to write this! Anyway, thanks for reviewing the last chapter- just to clarify, because there was some confusion-Monica is married to Richard, and their two children are Micaela and Ryan. Chandler isn't involved with the group at all. He's just some random man. Get it, got it? Good! Anyway, there was one review that made me laugh SO hard! The reviewer was like "The idea of Monica and Richard having children is just so gross! This story is gross, you're gross! Delete this!" lol....okay, I guess some M&C fans don't like Mon having kids with some one else, but c'mon! Okay, I've rambled on enough now-here's chapter three, enjoy and review!  
  
Disclaimer: No one is mine, except for Ryan and Micaela.  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Pain. That was the only thought going through Chandler's mind as he regained consciousness. Pain like he'd never felt before. Sure, he'd gotten his share of bruises and scrapes, but nothing like this. "Arrrrg," he moaned as he struggled to sit up.  
  
As soon as he sat up, he automatically wished he hadn't. For the sight that lay before his eyes was worse than any pain could ever be. Bodies. Everywhere. And if the sights weren't enough, the noises were worse. Screams, yells, babies crying. But, Chandler told himself, at least the noises meant people were alive. For a fleeting second, Chandler wondered if all the bodies around were really alive, just unconscious, like he'd been. Silently praying to himself that his thoughts were true, his scooted himself over to where Richard's body lay.  
  
"Please," he whispered, "Please let him be okay." Chandler'd never really been one to pray, but if there was ever a moment in which prayers were needed, this was it. "Please, he's got a family."  
  
Chandler squeezed his eyes shut from the pain of moving, but he knew he had to keep going. He had to help Richard. Finally, after what seemed like hours of agony, but was really barely a minute, Chandler reached Richard's body. His eyes were shut, his face bleeding and bruised. Chandler gently shook him. "Richard," he said loudly, "Richard, c'mon, wake up!"  
  
He didn't stir.  
  
"Richard!" Chandler said, a bit louder, "C'mon, wake up, right now!"  
  
He didn't stir.  
  
Chandler had known, all along, that he was probably gone. But he hadn't wanted to feel his pulse, for fear of confirming it. But as he reached for Richard's hand, he realized he'd have to confirm the information. Richard was dead.  
  
***  
  
Stay calm, Monica told herself. "You don't know he's dead," she thought silently, "He's probably just fine. They didn't say there were no survivors. Stay calm. Calm down."  
  
But deep down, there was a part of her that knew he might be gone.  
Monica inched her way back into the family, wondering whether or not she really wanted to hear the news.  
  
"Mommy," Ryan said, interrupting Monica's thoughts, "They said the plane was comin' from Philadelphia......wasn't Daddy there?"  
  
Monica drew in her breath sharply. "Uh, yeah, baby, he was," she said softly, "But don't worry. I'm sure Daddy's fine."  
  
For a moment, she wondered if she was just lying to her children, or if really, she was lying to herself.  
  
***  
  
"What's your name, sir?" The paramedic asked Chandler as he lifted him into the ambulance.  
  
"Chandler Bing," Chandler said softly. He couldn't believe it. He, Chandler Bing, was alive, while Richard Burke was dead. He'd only known Richard a few hours, but he knew, without a doubt, that Richard was the one who deserved to be alive. Not him.  
  
"Any family we can contact?" the paramedic asked.  
  
The paramedics' words hit Chandler like an ice cold brick. No, they wouldn't have to contact his family. But they would have to contact Richard. Ryan and Micaela has lost their father. Monica had lost her husband. And Chandler, right now, was the only one that knew.  
  
"Uh, no, not really," Chandler said softly.  
  
"Okay, Mr. Bing," the paramedic said, "It looks like you've got a concussion, which is nothing serious, a leg which I'm guessing is broken, and an arm that may be as well. We'll x-ray them at the hospital. But, you seem to be in pretty good shape otherwise. It's a miracle."  
  
Chandler nodded. A miracle. Sure, it was. But he wasn't the one the miracle should've been granted to.  
  
***  
  
"Ryan, Cae, how about you get in bed?" Monica said shakily. She'd been glued to the news for an hour now, and hadn't found anything out. Still, if there was something to be found, she didn't want the children to be awake when she did.  
  
After she put Ryan and Micaela to bed, Monica returned to the living room. She stationed herself on the couch, eyes glued to the screen. "Please," she whispered under her breath, "Please let him be okay."  
  
She told herself that he was strong, that he'd make it. He'd be okay. After all, hadn't the newscaster said that there were some survivors? He had to be one of them. Of course he was.  
  
Right? ***  
  
"Well, Mr. Bing, it looks like just the broken leg for today. Your arm is fractured, but it should be alright," the doctor told Chandler as he sat in the hospital.  
  
"What, uh, what about the other people?" Chandler said quietly.  
  
"What other people?" The doctor asked.  
  
"The other passengers," Chandler explained.  
  
"Well, Mr. Bing, I have to say you were quite lucky. Those who made it out alive were injured quite greatly. You're one of the few I can actually release tonight."  
  
Chandler nodded, "What about the ones who died?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Have, uh, their families been told?" Chandler asked.  
  
The doctor nodded, "It was the sad duty of a few of my colleagues to inform their families. We were lucky, though. Your flight was barely a third full. There was very few deaths.  
  
Very few, whatever, it didn't matter, thought Chandler. The one person who did matter had still died.  
  
***  
  
Monica put down the phone, in disbelief.  
  
No, it couldn't be true. Just a few hours ago Richard had been vibrant, full of life. It couldn't be true. He couldn't be dead.  
  
And yet, he was.  
  
TBC....  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! 


	4. More Than A Husband

And here's chapter four! Thanks for reviewing, please keep it up! Anyways, please enjoy this chapter and then review it. I realize it's a bit short, but I wanted to end it where it ends, so, please bear w/ it. Please review!  
  
Chapter Four  
  
disclaimer: Micaela and Ryan are mine. That's it. Seriously. Oh, and the song "My Best Friend"? Yeah, that's Tim McGraw's.  
  
Little girls were supposed to wear pink. That was the thought running through Monica's head as she gazed at her daughter. Little girls were supposed to wear pink. Not black. Never black. And yet that was what Micaela was dressed in today.  
  
Monica took a deep breath as she walked down the aisle of the church. The last time she'd walked down the aisle, she remembered, it'd been her wedding day. In a twist of cruel irony, the man who'd been at the end of the aisle that day was also there today-in a casket.  
  
Monica reached the pulpit, heart beating fiercely, sweat pouring off her face. She'd always hated public speaking, but today was doubly worse. How was she supposed to do this? How on earth was she supposed to bring comfort to the hundreds of crying people in the church, when she couldn't even begin to comfort herself? How was she supposed to tell about how wonderful her life was with Richard when she knew it would no longer be? Millions of hows and whys rushed through her mind, but she finally took a deep breath, and began.  
  
"Richard Burke was not just my husband," she said, "He was......he was everything. He was the most amazing father anybody could ask for. Michelle, Tim, Ryan and Micaela, his four children, worshiped him. They had good reason to. Richard was always there for them, constantly. He'd go to every game, every open house, every ballet recital. He'd read to them, and talk to them. He'd do everything.  
  
"Honestly, I really don't know how things are going to go on without him. People tell you that eventually, things become regular again, but I'm not really sure they ever can be. I guess the best thing I've heard so far is from another widow who told me that the feeling never does completely go away. But what does happen is eventually, you learn to cope. Like if you broke your right hand, you just learn to write with your left. You figure out some way. I guess, eventually, I will have to figure out some way. I guess we all will. But for right now, I think the best we can do is remember Richard. Remember him for what he was. A wonderful doctor, a perfect husband and a devoted father.  
  
"But most of all, I want you to remember Richard as your friend. If there was anything Richard was, it was a wonderful friend. He befriended everyone he met, even people who didn't really want friends. He just has that ability. People looked up to him. People admired him. Everyone loved him, especially me. The song I'm going to play for you is one of his favorites, and I think it describes how we all felt about him, but especially how I felt about him. Thank you all for coming today, and remember, remember your friend. Remember Richard Burke."  
  
She stepped down from the pulpit and pressed play on the stereo. I never had no one  
  
I could count on I've been let down so many times  
  
I was tired of hurtin'  
  
So tired of searchin'  
  
'Til you walked into my life  
  
It was a feelin'  
  
I'd never known  
  
And for the first time  
  
I didn't feel alone  
  
You're more than a lover  
  
There could never be another  
  
To make me feel the way you do  
  
Oh we just get closer  
  
I fall in love all over  
  
Everytime I look at you  
  
I don't know where I'd be  
  
Without you here with me  
  
Life with you makes perfect sense  
  
You're my best friend  
  
You're my best friend, oh yeah  
  
You stand by me  
  
And you believe in me  
  
Like nobody ever has  
  
When my world goes crazy  
  
You're right there to save me  
  
You make me see how much I have  
  
And I still tremble  
  
When we touch  
  
And oh the look in your eyes  
  
When we make love  
  
You're more than a lover  
  
***  
  
In the very back row of the church, Chandler Bing sat, with tears streaming down his cheeks.  
  
TBC..........  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! I promise, promise that this is going somewhere! But it won't go anyplace if you don't review! Thnx! 


	5. Aftermath

Okay, this chapter is a bit longer. I'm sorry the last one was so short, but you can see why I wanted it to end where it did. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews, they were awesome and I'm happy to say all the Richard-haters have finally stopped sending me bad reviews! I'm sorry for using him, but c'mon people, I killed the poor guy off for Pete's sake! Anyway, please enjoy chapter five! Review, and I will definitely post......it might be awhile b/c I'm going to New York for a debate tournament-wish me luck! Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
Chapter Five  
  
disclaimer: Ryan and Micaela are mine, but that would be it.  
  
Never in her life had Monica imagined she'd be standing in her husband's receiving line when she was not even forty. Sure, maybe her mom's receiving line, even her dad's, but her husband's? No way. Even though he was as old as her father, she'd always seemed to think he'd be around forever.  
  
But now she stood, shaking the hands of all the friends and relatives who came by, saying how sorry they were, how they were there for her, how they understood.  
  
Understood? How could they possibly understand? That was just it-they couldn't. No one ever could.  
  
Hand after hand Monica shook, and she didn't really pay much attention, until a man she didn't recognize appeared before her eyes. "Uh, hi," he said uncomfortably, "I, uh, guess you're probably wondering who I am."  
  
Monica nodded, and the man continued. "My name is Chandler Bing, and um....well, I was sitting next to your husband on the, well I mean......uh, well, I was sitting next to him on the plane," he said, finally just spitting it out.  
  
For a second, Monica was speechless. Finally, she spoke, "You were with him?" she said softly.  
  
Chandler nodded. "He, uh, I mean, I only knew him for a couple hours, but he was a great guy," Chandler said softly, wondering how much he should say so as not to make her too upset. He watched her reaction, breathing a sigh of relief when she only nodded.  
  
"Thank you," she said, "I mean, thank you for coming. And I uh, I hope your leg gets better," she said, pointing to his broken leg, and gesturing to his crutches.  
  
"Thanks," Chandler smiled, "But I was lucky."  
  
"Yeah," Monica said softly, "You were." ***  
  
"Mommy!" Micaela screeched, "Ryan hit me!"  
  
Monica sighed as her daughter came running out of the playroom, with Ryan trailing behind her, yelling, "No, I didn't!" She shook her head. Why had this all seemed so much easier when Richard had been around?  
  
"Ryan, did you hit your sister?" she asked, as patiently as she could.  
  
"No," he said, averting her eyes.  
  
"Ryan....."  
  
"Fine!" Ryan said, "But she deserved it," he said coldly.  
  
"Ryan," Monica said, exhausted and exasperated, "We do not hit other people in this house, no matter what the circumstances, all right?"  
  
"Right, whatever," Ryan said bitterly, as he stomped off. Monica sighed. When had her six-year-old turned into a teenager?  
  
It was like this every night. Her once picture perfect life had melted into a mess of late-afternoon daycare, quick, burnt dinners, constant fights, and no time for herself. Richard's death had caused her to go back to work, and though she'd easily found work as a chef, Ryan and Micaela, accustomed to having a stay-at-home mommy, had not adjusted easily. Neither had she.  
  
"Kids, dinner!" Monica yelled, attempting to divide the spaghetti between the three plates. Had it only been a short while ago when she'd prepared delicious, extravagant meals for her family? Now she had so little time to cook at night, it was a rare thing if she even had time to make something as simple as macaroni and cheese.  
  
"Mommy?" Micaela asked, breaking the family's recent dinnertime silence.  
  
"Yes, sweetheart?" Monica said tiredly.  
  
"When's Daddy coming home?"  
  
Before Monica could answer, Ryan opened his mouth, "He's not coming home, stupid," he said coldly, throwing a glare at Monica, then at Micaela, "He's dead."  
  
"Dead?" Micaela asked, "But then where is he?"  
  
Monica sighed. She'd tried numerous times to explain to Micaela what had happened, but to no avail. And Ryan was certainly no help. "Sweetie, Ryan's right. Daddy isn't coming home. But that doesn't mean he's not with you. He's in your heart."  
  
"But how'd he get in there?" Micaela asked curiously.  
  
Monica sighed. It was going to be a long night. But then again, it wouldn't be the first. And it certainly wouldn't be the last.  
  
***  
  
Monica rushed into the school building and raced down the hallway. She was practically out of breath as she reached the main office and burst in. "Excuse me," she said to the receptionist, "I'm Monica Burke, Ryan Burke's mother. I got a call at work...."  
  
"Yes, of course," the receptionist said, "The principal will see you right now," she said, pointing to a small office.  
  
Monica rushed into the principal's office. "Hello, Mrs. Burke," the principal, Mr. Jacobs said, "I suppose you're wondering why you were called?" Monica nodded. "Well," Mr. Jacobs began, "Your son was involved in a fist-fight today during recess."  
  
Monica put a hand to her mouth, "My son? Ryan? He hit someone?"  
  
"Several times, in fact. I've talked to him, and he says there's a reason, but he won't say what. The boy he was in the fight with said he didn't do anything, however."  
  
Monica gulped. What had happened to her son? "Can I see him?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, of course," the principal said, and motioned to the back of the main office, where the small blond boy sat, holding a paper towel to a bloody nose.  
  
"Ryan, baby, what happened?" Monica asked, rushing over to her son.  
  
Ryan looked up at his mother, his expression a mixture of anger and sadness. "Jonathan and I got into a fight," he said simply.  
  
Monica smiled at Ryan, trying to convey to him that she wasn't angry- yet. "But why, sweetie?" she asked, "Why'd you hit Jonathan? I thought he was your friend."  
  
Ryan was silent for a long time. Then, finally, he spoke, very softly, "He said I didn't have a daddy."  
  
*** Six Months Later:  
  
"Uncle Ross!" Micaela screeched happily, "You came!"  
  
"Of course I came! I wouldn't miss my favorite niece's fifth birthday, would I?"  
  
Micaela grinned happily, "Where's Aunt Rachel?" she asked.  
  
Just then, Rachel appeared from behind the car, "Hey, sweetie," she called out, "Happy Birthday!" Micaela ran to her aunt for a hug, and Monica watched the scene, her emotions going from happy at the sight of her excited daughter to sad at the sight of her brother lifting his one-year- old daughter, Olivia, from the car. She watched uneasily as Ross cooed to his daughter, laughing as he tickled her stomach and told her how much her daddy loved her.  
  
A daddy. That was the one birthday present Monica knew Micaela wanted. And the one she knew she wouldn't get.  
  
***  
  
"So how're you doing, Mon?" Rachel asked, as they cleaned up from Micaela's birthday party.  
  
"I'm okay," Monica lied, "Things are good. My job's good. Ryan's gotten a lot better, too."  
  
Rachel glanced at her best friend, unsure. "Really?" she said.  
  
"Yeah, really," Monica said through her teeth, a bit angry at Rachel's reaction. "Things are fine, Rachel. Stop pushing."  
"Okay, it's just....." Rachel said, "It's just......"  
  
"It's just what, Rachel?" Monica demanded.  
  
"It's just if you ever need to talk, I'm here."  
  
Monica was silent for a long time. Finally, she allowed her bright blue eyes, recently dimmed in the previous months, to fill with tears. "All right," she whispered, "Things aren't good. Ryan isn't good. Micaela isn't good. They want a daddy," she said softly, "And I........"  
  
"You what, sweetie?" Rachel said, putting her arm around her friend.  
  
"I want a husband," she said softly. 


	6. Feeling the Connection

Thanx for reviewing guys! Don't you notice how reviews make me post so much quicker! Hehe....! anyways, here's chapter six, please enjoy it and review!  
  
Chapter Six  
  
disclaimer: okay, they're not mine! How many times do I have to say it?  
  
Six Months Later:  
  
"So, are you going to go?" Rachel asked Monica as they stood in her kitchen.  
  
Monica shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know if there's any point in going, I mean......what are going to do? Just stand around and cry?"  
  
Rachel laughed, "No," she said, "But maybe it'll be good for you to interact with the other families," she said.  
  
"Maybe," Monica said, sighing, "I don't know if I really want to drag Ryan and Micaela all the way out to Philadelphia, though."  
  
"We'll watch them," Rachel offered, "Olivia will have a blast," she said.  
  
"Well......." Monica said, "I don't know......"  
  
"Monica, it's the one-year anniversary. You have to go, okay? You owe it to him."  
  
Rachel's words sealed the deal. "All right," said Monica. "I'll go." ***  
  
Monica took a deep breath as she clutched her purse and walked into the huge conference hall where the one-year-anniversary of the crash gathering was taking place. For a moment, she wished she'd brought the kids with her. Or someone. Anyone. Even bringing baby Olivia with her would be better than doing this alone. But, she reminded herself, she had to. She owed it. To him.  
  
***  
  
"Mind if I sit here?" Chandler Bing asked, as he approached the tables set up for dinner.  
  
Monica looked up, "Uh, no, go ahead."  
  
Chandler sat down and looked at his tablemate. "Oh my goodness," he said softly.....of all of the people in the world for him to sit next to, "Monica Burke?"  
  
Monica looked at him, recognition dawning. "The guy sitting next to Richard....." she said softly.  
  
Chandler nodded, "I'm sorry," he said, "Maybe I should sit someplace else," he said, starting to get up.  
  
"No," Monica said evenly, "Stay."  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked, looking her in the eye. Gosh, she was gorgeous. He'd seen Richard's picture and he'd seen her at the funeral, but he still was amazed. Richard had been so lucky. His wife was amazing.  
  
Monica nodded, and Chandler sat back down. "Did you, um, bring your kids?" he asked.  
  
Monica looked at him, wondering how he knew about Ryan and Micaela. Chandler smiled, "Richard told me about your kids. Showed me pictures and everything. They're gorgeous."  
  
Monica smiled, "Thank you," she said, "And no, I didn't bring them. They're with their aunt and uncle. They, well, they had a hard enough time dealing with this and I didn't want to drudge all the feelings up for them again."  
  
Chandler nodded, "I can see that," he said, looking around a bit, "I feel so awkward here," he admitted, "Everyone's well, grieving and sharing stories about their loved ones and I well......I guess I feel like I shouldn't be here. I didn't lose anyone."  
  
"But you were still on the plane," Monica offered.  
  
Chandler shrugged, "Yeah, I was. But all I got out of it was a busted leg. I'm okay, you know?"  
  
Monica nodded and Chandler debated whether or not to tell her what he'd always wanted to tell her, since the second he'd seen her at the funeral. Finally, he decided to tell her. "I, um, actually hoped to see you here," he said softly.  
  
Monica glanced at him, confused, "Really?"  
  
"Yeah," Chandler said slowly, "I, uh, wanted to let you know, that well, that I'm sorry."  
  
Monica looked at him, more confused than ever, "Sorry for what?" she asked.  
  
"It should've.....It should've been me, and I should've done something," Chandler said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"On the plane, I should've been the one who died. Richard had you, he had the kids. He had a life worth living for. Me.....I'm just me. No family, no nothing. I should've thrown myself on him, or protected him, or something. I should've died. He deserved to live."  
  
Monica bit her lip, holding back tears. "Chandler....." she said softly, "Richard's death wasn't your fault. Please don't think I'd ever blame you for not doing something. Even if you had time to think about throwing yourself on him, I wouldn't expect you to do it. And I doubt Richard would've wanted you to."  
  
"Still...."  
  
"No still, Chandler," Monica said.  
  
Chandler smiled softly, "Thank you," he said.  
  
Monica smiled back, "No, thank you."  
  
***  
  
Sitting next to Monica at dinner turned out to be one of the best decisions Chandler ever could've made. They talked long into the night, after Chandler had made his confession.  
  
"So when we finally got out of the stupid taxi cab, after being stuck in traffic for practically an hour, I didn't even get into the hospital, and out Micaela popped," Monica said, laughing as she relayed the story of Micaela's birth to Chandler. "That's why I call her my speedy one.....she's in a hurry to get everything done. Always has been."  
  
Chandler chuckled, and smiled, "Your kids sound pretty great," he said.  
  
Monica smiled thoughtfully, "Yeah," she said, "They are. I mean, they've had a tough time this past year, but all in all, they are pretty great."  
  
Chandler looked at her sympathetically, "They've had a real hard time, then?" he asked. He'd always worried they would. Sure, he'd never met them, but they way Richard described them.....he figured they both loved their father very much.  
  
"Yeah," Monica sighed, "Well, Ryan has, anyway. Micaela.....she just doesn't understand where her father is, and what happened. But everyone says she's forget. I mean, she was only four. She will forget, and I suppose that's a good thing. But Ryan.....well, Ryan has struggled with it, and probably will struggle with it for awhile. And it may not even be the fact that Richard's gone that bothers him. It's more of the fact that he doesn't have a dad anymore. All the boys his age have their fathers taking them fishing and watching their baseball games, and Ryan doesn't have that."  
  
Chandler nodded, "I can see that. In fact, I can relate." Monica looked at him skeptically, "No, seriously," he continued, "My dad.....well, he wasn't around much, especially when I was Ryan's age. And he certainly wasn't your typical dad."  
  
Again, Monica shot him a confused look, and Chandler laughed, "He was, well.....gay. And I missed all that stuff. All the fishing and baseball games. So I can see where Ryan's coming from."  
  
Monica nodded, "I guess you can," she said softly, "Better than I can, I suppose. I mean, I had all that, coming from both my mom and my dad. And it's all I ever wanted to give my kids."  
  
Chandler nodded, and sighed softly, "And that got taken away, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Monica said softly, "And I guess I just wish every day that I could give it back. I mean, I try to go to Ryan's baseball games, and read to Micaela like their dad did, but it's not the same. It's not like I can do all the guy stuff with Ryan or do all the things fathers do with their daughters. It's impossible."  
  
Chandler nodded again, and a thought crossed his mind, but he quickly brushed it off. Finally, he decided to bring it up, "You know, well.....I mean, if you ever wanted a guy around.....I mean, I've never met your kids, but, uh....well,"  
  
Monica smiled at his nervousness, "What is it Chandler?" she asked.  
  
"Well, if you ever wanted someone around to well, do the guy stuff with your kids, I mean, well I'd be happy to do it. I know I can't replace Richard, and I'm not trying to. I guess.....I guess I just feel connected to your family, because of what happened."  
  
Monica looked at him for a long time, "You'd do that?" she whispered finally.  
  
"Yeah," Chandler said, happy he hadn't freaked her out too badly, "I would."  
  
Monica smiled, "I'd love for you to be around then. I mean, Ryan could definitely use a guy influence. Micaela could to, for that matter. I mean, my brother tries.......but he has his own kids."  
  
Chandler smiled back, "Well, I definitely don't have my own kids."  
  
"Wait," Monica said, as a thought crossed her mind, "Don't you live here?"  
  
Chandler shook his head, "I'm moving," he said, "I can't stand being here anymore.....too many bad memories. I might as well move closer to you."  
  
Monica laughed abruptly, "This is so weird!" she said "I mean, we barely know each other and you're moving just to be closer to me!"  
  
Chandler laughed at that, too. "Yeah," he said, "It is weird. But like I said.....I feel....connected."  
  
Monica smiled softly, "Yeah," she said gently, "I do, too."  
  
There is a picture in the pocket of my shirt  
  
I always keep you next to me  
  
When I'm away from you all I do is hurt  
  
I think about you constantly  
  
But you're always with me deep inside  
  
I can feel you when I close my eyes  
  
We are connected at the heart  
  
Nothing on earth can keep the two of us apart  
  
Time has no meaning  
  
Distance has no power It's never too late  
  
No matter how long  
  
We're never that far  
  
We are connected at the heart  
  
Every night I get down on my knees and pray  
  
I know God's listening to me  
  
Sometimes I have to work a little on my faith  
  
But I don't have to see him to believe  
  
Isn't that a little bit like you and me  
  
We're not always eye to eye but I know we Part of each other  
  
One and the same  
  
Blood of my blood  
  
Soul of my soul We are connected at the heart  
  
Oh, we are connected at the heart  
  
Song: Connected At the Heart by Ricochet  
  
okay, everybody, now please, please, please review! Just press that cute little button! Thnx! 


	7. Meet The Kids

Okay, people, im trusting that on this one, I hoping that on this one, ill get some more reviews.....I know things are crazy for everybody, but, seriously, things are crazy for me, too, and I need reviews to help me write this amidst all the craziness! Hehe....anyway, please review and thanx to those who have been reviewing! Enjoy chapter seven!  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
disclaimer: they aren't mine. That's it, that's all there is to say.  
  
"You met a GUY!" Rachel screeched happily as Monica told her of her encounter with Chandler.  
  
"Rachel," Monica said in warning tone, "Not a guy in that way. He's just gonna be around to do the dad stuff with the kids."  
  
Rachel laughed, "Whatever, Monica. He's still a guy. And a guy offering to do all that stuff? He's OBVIOUSLY likes you."  
  
Monica shook her head, "He was sitting next to Richard on the plane, Rach. He feels like he owes him, or something. I don't know."  
  
"Sure, Mon," Rachel said, smiling, "Call me after you guys sleep together, okay? And I guarantee it'll be soon."  
  
Monica shook her head. Someone needed to teach Rachel a little thing called tact.  
  
***  
"Mommy, Mommy," Micaela cried as she ran through the house to her mother, "There's a stra'ger at the door!"  
  
Monica laughed, knowing this was around the time Chandler was due to arrive for dinner. "No, sweetie, that's just Mommy's friend. Come here, we'll let him in together."  
  
Monica lead Micaela to the door, and called for Ryan. Then she opened the door, revealing Chandler. "Hey," he said smiling warmly. Then, he bent down on the one knee so that he was Micaela's height, "And you," he said, gently, "Must be Micaela."  
  
Micaela blushed and buried her head into her mother's skirt. "Say hi, honey," Monica urged.  
  
Micaela smiled shyly at Chandler, "Hi," she said softly, "What's your name?"  
  
"My name is Chandler," Chandler said, happy Micaela seemed to like him.  
  
Micaela giggled, "Chandler. That's a funny name."  
  
Chandler grinned, "You know what?" he said, "My last name is even funnier."  
  
Micaela's eyes grew wide, "Really?" she asked.  
  
Chandler nodded, "Yup. My last name is Bing!"  
Micaela giggled even harder, "Bing," she laughed, "That is funny."  
  
Monica smiled at her daughter, "Honey," she said, "Why don't you go get your brother so he can meet Chandler." Micaela nodded and dashed upstairs.  
  
"Thanks for coming," Monica said, "How's your apartment?"  
  
Chandler shrugged, "It's an apartment," he laughed, "And a bachelor's apartment at that. It's nothing compared to this place," he said, gesturing to Monica's immaculate, tastefully decorated home.  
  
Monica blushed, "Well....."  
  
Chandler smiled, "I'm just playing," he said, "Your house is gorgeous."  
  
At Chandler's words, Ryan and Micaela appeared at the top of the steps, Ryan with a disgusted look on his face. "Who is THAT?" he spat out. He hadn't taken too kindly to most men lately.  
  
"Ryan....." Monica warned, "This is my friend, Chandler."  
  
Ryan eyed Chandler cautiously as he made his way down the stairs, "Why're you here?" he asked.  
  
Monica laughed at her son's obvious over-protectiveness. "Honey, Chandler's here to hang out with us a little bit. He's going to stay for dinner tonight. Would you like that?"  
  
Ryan shrugged, "Whatever, I guess."  
  
Monica sighed. This was going to take awhile.  
  
***  
  
'Topics for seven-year-old, topics for a seven-year-old,' Chandler thought at dinner that night as he frantically racked his brain for a conversation starter with Ryan. Suddenly, it came to him, 'Sports!'  
  
"So, Ryan," Chandler said, a bit hesitantly, "Do you like the Yankees?"  
  
Ryan looked at him a bit skeptically, "Do you?" he said, in a testing voice.  
  
Chandler grinned, "Sure do. I used to live in the city, before I moved to Philly. I used to go to games and everything."  
  
Ryan's eyes grew excited, "Really?" he asked.  
  
Chandler nodded, "Sure did. Maybe, if your mom will let me, I can take you down to a game some day."  
  
Ryan whipped around to face his mother, "Can I, Mom? Can I?"  
  
Monica laughed, "You just opened up a can of worms, there, Chandler," she said.  
  
He shrugged, "Don't listen to your mom, Ryan. You and I, we'll have a great time." He winked at Monica, he smiled back and mouthed, "Thank you."  
  
For the rest of dinner, Ryan and Chandler chatted animatedly about the Yankees, and the Knicks, and Monica noticed something.  
  
It was the first time Ryan had laughed in months.  
  
***  
  
"All right, Ry, let's get you up to bed," Monica said, hours later.  
  
"But Mooooooom," Ryan whined, "Chandler and I were just talking about last weeks' game-"  
  
Monica laughed, "No buts, honey. But maybe Chandler can read you and Cae a bedtime story," she said, glancing at Chandler hopefully.  
  
Chandler nodded at Monica, "I'd be happy to, guys," he said, "Come on, let's head up."  
  
***  
  
Once the kids were in bed, Chandler and Monica headed downstairs, settling down on the couch, "Are you sure you weren't a dad in a past life or something?" Monica asked.  
  
Chandler laughed, "I'm sure," he said, "Believe me, before this I hadn't done anything."  
  
Monica shook her head, "Well, you're a natural. I think Ryan really likes you."  
  
Chandler smiled. "Thanks," he said, "But.....I hope he understands I'm not trying to replace his dad, though."  
  
Monica nodded, "So do I. But I think he does. If he thought you were, I think he would've been a lot colder. My brother.....well, he tried to have some "dad" talk with Ryan the other day. That did not receive a good reaction from Ryan."  
  
Chandler nodded, "I guess if I were him, I wouldn't be too thrilled about that. I'm sure he still misses his real dad."  
  
Monica nodded again, "Still, thank you. I think tonight was the first time I've seen Ryan smile in quite awhile."  
  
Chandler laughed, "That's good, then. And don't thank me. I'm happy to do it. Watching you.....I mean, having kids is pretty amazing, isn't it?"  
  
Monica glanced at him, attempting to contemplate what he was getting at. "Yeah," she said softly, "It is."  
  
Chandler smiled, "And you get the have that amazing feeling, every day, of being a parent. I don't get that. But hanging around with Ryan and Micaela.......well, that produces a good feeling, too. So I'm happy to do it."  
  
Monica was touched, "Thank you," she whispered. Chandler grinned softly, and put his hand over hers, both of them staring deeply into each other's eyes.  
  
"No problem," In that instant, Chandler wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss her. His mind skipped between that feeling, and the feeling of knowing it was completely wrong to do so. Still.....the sight of those gorgeous blue eyes, and her amazing smile.......it was killing him. 'No,' he told himself, 'This is Richard's widow, you don't go kissing her'.  
  
But then a new voice crossed his head, 'Look at that smile, look at the face...." And Chandler leaned over. His heart beating, pulse racing, he leaned down to gently touch his lips to hers.  
  
You know what everyone says about first kisses? How they're the most scary, nerve wracking time of your life, but at the same time they're also the most amazing? Well, as Chandler deepened his kiss, he realized one thing. His first kiss was nothing compared to this.  
  
Please review! Please, please, please! 


	8. What He Wants

Okay, just for the record, I am a Red Sox fan! Just because I put the Yankees in the last chapter doesn't mean I like them......I cried when they beat the Sox! Hehe....anyways, just thought I'd say that since many people said they hated the yankees in their reviews.....well I do too! Sorry to any Yankee fans! Anyway, please review this chapter.....  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
disclaimer: sorry, nothing is mine!  
  
The kiss lasted for about a minute before Monica pulled away. "Chandler," she said, looking down at her lap, "I can't. I'm sorry, it's just-"  
  
Chandler turned away, " I thought you might say that," he said disappointedly.  
  
"No, Chandler, it's just.......with the way you're going to be around for Ryan and all, I just.......I don't think it's a good idea. And, well, it's.....it's just too soon."  
  
Chandler nodded, "I think....maybe I should go then."  
  
Monica nodded, "Maybe you should."  
  
Chandler stood up, walked to the door and left. But as he made his way to his car, one thought was going through his mind. Why had the kiss lasted so very long?  
  
***  
  
"So I was right!" Rachel said triumphantly, as Monica relayed the events of the previous night, "You DO like him!"  
  
"Rachel," Monica hissed, "I do not. HE kissed me, and I pulled away. I told him it wouldn't work out!"  
  
Rachel shook her head, "Monica, then why are you telling me this? If it doesn't matter at all, if you seriously don't like him, then why are you telling me this?"  
  
Monica shrugged, "I don't know," she mumbled.  
  
"Mon, ask yourself this," Rachel said, "Will it not work out because you don't want it to, or because you're scared to let it?"  
  
Monica stared at Rachel. She knew her answer. But she was too scared to ever admit that Rachel was right.  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Ry, you ready to go?" Chandler called up the stairs.  
  
A brightly smiling Ryan came banging down the stairs, "Yeah!" he yelled excitedly, "I'm ready!"  
  
Monica smiled at her son, and pulled him into a hug, "You sure you're gonna be okay, honey?" she asked. Chandler was taking Ryan to his first Yankees game, and then the pair were going to sleep at Chandler's friend Joey's apartment.  
  
"Mooom," Ryan moaned, "I'm gonna be fine."  
  
Chandler grinned down at the boy who he had come to love so much in the past couple of month. "Yeah, Mon, he'll be fine," he said, glancing up at the woman, who, after a few uncomfortable days, had become his best friend.  
  
"All right," Monica said worriedly, "But you'd better take care of him," she said, poking Chandler in the ribs.  
  
"I will," Chandler said, "Besides, you and Micaela are gonna have a great time, aren't you, Cae?"  
  
Micaela grinned up at her Chandler, who she loved with all her little heart, "Yeah!" she cried happily, "Mommy's taking me shopping!"  
  
"All right, then," Chandler said, "C'mon, Ry." He put his arm around Ryan's shoulder and the pair walked out the door.  
  
Monica smiled at the sight. Yes, she'd lost Richard. But the man Richard had chosen to fill his void-and Monica was certain Richard, up in Heaven had directed hers and Chandler's meeting, well, the man Richard had chosen, couldn't be doing a better job.  
  
***  
"He's out, huh?" Chandler's old friend Joey asked as Chandler carried an exhausted Ryan into Joey's apartment.  
  
Chandler nodded, laughing. "Yeah. He was so excited about riding in a taxi, but he fell asleep about halfway through."  
  
Joey smiled, and glanced down at the sleeping boy as Chandler laid him in Joey's barcalounger, "So this is the infamous Ryan Burke, son of the even more infamous Monica Burke?"  
  
Chandler glanced at him, "Joe, do you even know what infamous means?"  
  
Joey looked down at the floor, "Well......no, but what I do know is that, whenever I talk to you, the only people you ever talk about are these Burkes. Especially the oldest one."  
  
Chandler shrugged, "So, Monica and I are friends. We spend a lot of time together."  
  
Joey snorted, "Sure. Friends."  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Mon," Chandler said as he spoke to Monica on the phone later that night. "How're things?"  
  
"Things are great! How was the game?"  
  
"Awesome," Chandler told her, "They won, and Ryan was thrilled."  
  
Monica laughed, "I bet he was."  
  
"How's Micaela?" Chandler asked, realizing he sounded exactly like a father asking how his daughter was.  
  
"She's fine, don't worry about us girls. We had a great time, didn't we, Cae?" Chandler heard Monica asking Micaela in the background.  
  
"Yea!" he heard Micaela shout happily, and then, "Mommy, I wanna talk to Chandler!"  
  
"One sec, sweetie, let me talk to your brother," Monica returned to the line, "Can I talk to Ryan."  
  
"Well, he fell asleep on the way home, but I know he wants to talk to you, so I'll wake him up."  
  
Within a few minutes, Chandler had woken a sleepy Ryan, who perked up immediately as he told his mom that the Yankees had won and that Chandler had bought him a Yankees tee-shirt. Chandler laughed as Ryan happily handed him back the phone.  
  
"Excited enough for ya?" he asked Monica, chucking, "And that's after he just woke up!"  
  
Monica laughed, "That's my boy," she responded. Then, in a softer voice, she said, "Hey Chandler?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks. For making him so excited. I could've never given Ryan a day like you just did."  
  
"No problem. Cause you know what? Ryan's the only one who could've given me a day like I just had."  
  
"Well," Monica said gently, "I've got a very anxious little girl right here who wants to talk to you. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, Mon," Chandler said softly, "See you tomorrow."  
  
"Chandler!" Micaela said happily as she took the phone from her mother.  
  
"Hey, Cae. How was your day with your Mom?"  
  
"It was the best day EVER!" Micaela said with exhilaration.  
  
Chandler chucked, "I'm glad, sweetie."  
  
"When're you and Ryan coming home, Chandler?" Micaela asked.  
  
"Tomorrow, Cae. And don't tell your mom, but I'm gonna take everybody out to dinner."  
  
"Ooh!" Micaela exclaimed, "Can we go to McDonald's?"  
  
Chandler laughed, "Well, Cae, I think I might spring for something a little better than McDonald's. But tell you what. Next week, I'll take you to McDonald's for lunch."  
  
On the other side of the phone, Micaela grinned, "Okay!" she responded happily, "See you tomorrow, Chandler."  
  
"See you tomorrow, Cae. Night."  
  
Joey looked at Chandler as he hung up the phone. Ryan had conked out on the couch again, and Joey glanced from the phone to Ryan. "When did you go and have kids on me?" he asked.  
  
Chandler looked at Joey impatiently, "Joey. I did not have kids. I just do all the fun stuff with them."  
  
Joey looked at Chandler skeptically, "Yeah, right. And you also ask how they are, and you get worried about them, and you talk to them, and take them to lunch......and you're telling me you're just their "friend"? No-uh, dude, you're their dad."  
  
"Joey," Chandler hissed, "I'm not trying to be their dad and I don't want to be."  
  
"Whatever, man," Joey said, heading into his bedroom, "But think about it."  
  
Chandler shook his head. But not because Joey was wrong. Because Joey was right. One hundred percent right. He'd never wanted anything more in his life. He wanted to be Ryan and Micaela's dad. And above all, he wanted to become Monica's husband.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! 


	9. What's He's Become

Thanks for keeping up the reviewing, everyone. I really hope that you're liking this story, and I'm not dragging it out too, too much. I will warn you now.....it's looking like it's going to be about 15 or 16 chapters, but I really can't make it any shorter than that. I think everyone thinks that they're just gonna hook up and live happily ever after.....but let me tell you, there a quite a few more twists in order! Hehe, it's nice to be the only one who knows this stuff! But if you want to see those twists play out......well, then, review! Thanks!  
  
Disclaimer: they're not mine. They belong to those brilliant people who hired christina applegate and made a damn good decisions b/c she is hilarious! lol!  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
Chandler was fast asleep on the couch that night when Ryan came stumbling out of Joey's spare bedroom. "Chandler," he said quietly, "I don't feel so good."  
  
Chandler sat up and chuckled, "I told you that third hot dog wasn't gonna agree with you, Ry. Come here," he said, and Ryan came over to the couch, laying his head against Chandler's shoulder.  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ryan spoke up, "Chandler?" he said softly, "Why're you so nice to us?"  
  
Chandler looked at Ryan quizzically, "What do you mean?"  
  
"Why do you hang around with us? Why do you take me and Micaela places? Does somebody make you?"  
  
"Ry, nobody makes me hang out with you guys. I do it because I like you guys and I love spending time with you."  
  
Ryan was silent for awhile, "The reason I ask is cause.......well my friend Jaime's daddy died, too, like mine, and suddenly this guy came and wanted to take Jaime and his sister around and he hung out with them. And then Jaime's mom married him, and he forgot all about them."  
  
"Oh, Ry," Chandler said softly, "Is that what you're scared of? That I'm gonna marry your mom and forget all about you?" Ryan nodded. Chandler took a deep breath, "Bud, first off, your mom and I are nowhere near close to getting married. But even if we were, I promise you that your mom would never, ever marry anyone who would forget about you. Never. She loves you way too much."  
  
"Really?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Yeah," Chandler said, "And I promise you, no matter what happens, I won't forget about you either."  
  
"Thanks, Chandler," Ryan said, cuddling closer. After a few seconds, he added, "And for the record, I wouldn't mind if you married my mom."  
  
Chandler laughed, "Good to know, Ryan. Now go to sleep."  
  
"Okay," Ryan said sleepily. He closed his eyes, and Chandler sat there, contemplating Ryan's words. Was Ryan okay with their marriage? Obviously. But was Monica? Obviously not. But Chandler's thoughts were interrupted as Ryan whispered softly, "Hey Chandler?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
Chandler looked down at Ryan, wondering what to say. Finally, the words came. "I love you too, Ry." And Chandler realized, he'd never meant anything more in his life.  
  
***  
  
"Ryan Burke." Ryan's teacher called out, and Ryan trotted up to the front of the classroom, to give his presentation about his family.  
  
"I'm not like most kids," Ryan began, "I don't have a daddy because he died. But I do have a mom. She's the best mom in the world, and she's a chef at a restaurant. And then I have a sister, her name is Micaela. She's five years old. She's kinda annoying, but she can be cute, too.  
  
"And then, since I don't have a dad, we have this friend. His name is Chandler and he does everything with us. Like last weekend, he took me to a Yankees game. And he takes me to my own baseball games, and he co-coaches my team. He's really cool."  
  
Then Ryan pulled out a big poster with the heading "My Family". "So," he finished, "That's my family. Mom, Micaela, and Chandler."  
  
***  
  
A week later, Monica was working late, and Chandler was watching Micaela and Ryan. After he'd put the kids to bed, he noticed that Ryan had left his completed homework out on the kitchen table. Knowing that Monica liked to have the house absolutely clean, Chandler picked up the homework and walked over to Ryan's backpack. As he rummaged through the bag, looking for the correct folder to put the homework in, he noticed a crumpled up poster. Interested in seeing Ryan's school work, he pulled it out.  
  
The heading read "My Family" and underneath it were pictures of three people-Monica, Micaela, and himself. Chandler stared at the poster and tried hard to keep the tears from coming.  
  
***  
  
Chandler had fallen asleep on the couch by the time Monica returned from work. When we woke up, he found her standing over him, hands on her hips.  
  
"You know I don't pay you to fall asleep," she said jokingly.  
  
"You don't pay me at all," he countered as he sat up, and she laughed, sitting down next to him.  
  
"How were they?" she asked.  
  
"Horrible. Ryan was trying to get into the booze cabinet and Micaela wanted to watch MTV."  
  
Monica punched him in the stomach. "Can you ever be serious?"  
  
He laughed, "On a rare occasion. No, really, they were great. Are they ever not?"  
  
Monica smiled and snuggled up against him, enjoying the peacefulness of the moment. "How was work?" Chandler asked.  
  
Monica sighed, "Exhausting. I had some very picky customers."  
  
Chandler nodded sympathetically, "You should take my job," he said, "I promise you you'd never be exhausted again."  
  
Monica laughed and shook her head against his chest. They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Chandler decided to bring up what he'd found that night.  
  
"Hey, Mon?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Well, tonight......I was putting Ryan's homework away for him, and I found this," he said, lifting the poster off of the coffee table.  
  
Monica took the poster from Chandler's hands and looked at it curiously. She studied it for a moment and then looked up at Chandler, "Do you mind?" she asked, "That he included you?"  
  
"No......not at all," Chandler said softly, "In fact, I was thrilled. But.....the question is, do you mind?"  
  
Monica was silent for a few seconds. Then, she turned around and looked Chandler straight in the eye, "Chandler," she said softly, "You ARE part of this family."  
  
"But what about Richard?" Chandler asked sadly.  
  
Monica shook her head, "Chandler, Richard's been gone over a year. Yes, we still miss him and we always will. But you.....you've come in and made everything ten times better. You've made this all so much easier. For Ryan, for Micaela.....and for me."  
  
Chandler wrapped his arms around her, "Mon, I'll be honest with you. When I started this, I was only really doing it because I felt obligated to Richard. Yeah, he was a guy I knew for maybe two hours, but I always felt guilty that I survived and he didn't. But.......then, Mon, this became so much more. I started to feel things for your kids that I've never felt for anybody. And when I was with Joey in New York, he pointed out something I'd failed to notice. I'm not just their friend anymore."  
  
"No," Monica said, "You're not, Chandler. You're their father figure."  
"And," Chandler said softly, "Does that bother you?"  
  
Monica shook her head gently, "Chandler, not at all. Because if Richard can't be here, I know he'd be happy with the job you're doing. Ryan and Micaela need a father figure. And you're doing a hell of a job."  
  
They were silent for a few more minutes until Chandler spoke again. "Mon," he said hesitantly, "In the, uh, past few months, I haven't just developed feelings for Ryan and Micaela. I've.....uh....developed feelings for someone else, too. Very different feelings. Very different feelings for you."  
  
Monica sat up and looked at him. "Chandler....." she said softly, "We've been over this. It just....it wouldn't work."  
  
"Why not, Mon?" Chandler asked. "Why wouldn't it work?"  
  
"It just wouldn't," Monica said sadly, "I'm sorry, I just-"  
  
"Mon," Chandler said, standing up abruptly, "I've played this game enough. I need a real answer."  
  
Monica looked at her hands, wringing them together. "I can't give you one," she said softly.  
  
Chandler started towards the door, "Call me when you can give me one," he said softly, and left.  
  
The second the door slammed, Monica gathered herself in her arms and wept.  
  
want those twists? Want them to get together? Want this to end right now cuz it's crappy? let me know! PLEASE REVIEW! 


	10. True To Your Heart

WOW! You guys were great on reviewing on that chapter! THANKS! PLEASE be as generous this chapter........I loved getting so many reviews! I'm gonna try to break 150 reviews on this baby, so keep 'em coming! Thanks again! To respond to one person, who said Monica wouldn't be over Richard in a year, and Chandler was being jerky trying to force her. Well, a. it's been about a year and a half, and b. I know chandler's being jerky! But you'll see why, and you'll see him pay for it! Hehe.....but good obeservation, it'd probably confuse me too, if I wasn't the writer. Anyway, enough rambling for now, please read, ENJOY and review!  
  
Chapter Ten  
  
disclaimer: the characters are not mine, neither is the song, it's very old and by 98 Degrees and Stevie Wonder, but it fit, so I had to use it!  
  
"Hey, Joe," Chandler said into the phone.  
  
"Hey, bud," Joey said, happy to hear from his friend. "How're things?"  
  
"Okay," Chandler said despondently.  
  
"What's wrong?" Joey asked, picking up on Chandler's tone.  
  
"Nothing, it's just......"  
  
"Just what?"  
  
"Monica and I had a fight."  
  
"Ah, the married couple's first fight," Joey said wisely.  
  
"Joey!" Chandler said angrily, "We are NOT married. Monica's made that very clear."  
  
"Fine, dude," Joey said, "What'd you fight about?"  
  
"I'm in love with her, man. And she knows that, dammit everyone knows that. Even Ryan knows it. He actually gave me permission the other week to marry his mom."  
  
Joey laughed at that. "So what's the problem?" he asked.  
  
"She won't give us a chance. I know she's got feelings for me, I can see it. Even her sister-in-law told me she's likes me. But for whatever stupid reason, she refuses to give us a chance."  
  
"What'd she say to you?" Joey asked.  
  
"Just that it wouldn't work."  
  
"Hmmm....." Joey said, and then was silent.  
  
"What're you thinking about?" Chandler asked.  
  
"Dude, has it ever occurred to you that maybe she's scared?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Look, man, she lost one guy she loves. Could her reason for not wanting to get involved with you maybe be that she's afraid to lose another person she loves?"  
  
Chandler was silent at that. Maybe Joey was a lot smarter than people gave him credit for.  
  
***  
  
"I can't believe this, Mon," Rachel said, shaking her head, "He offered his heart a second time and you didn't take it."  
  
"Rach, don't get into this....." Monica warned as they sat, watching their children play on the playground.  
  
"No, Mon, maybe I have to get into it," Rachel said, a bit forcefully.  
  
"Rachel, it's my business," Monica argued.  
  
"Maybe it is," Rachel said, "But all I know is that there is a guy out there who loves you more than life itself and is willing to give you everything. And there are two kids on that playground who love him with all their little hearts. But all I'm seeing is you, who I know loves that man, knocking him down again and again and breaking his heart."  
  
"Rachel, it's not that simple," Monica argued, "There are other factors to consider."  
  
"Mon, don't give me that crap. Haven't you ever seen 'My Best Friend's Wedding'?" Rachel asked, and then she began quoting from the film, " 'If you love someone, you say it. You say it right then and there, otherwise the moment just passes you by'. Honey," Rachel said, "I know Chandler's willing to wait a lifetime for you, but he shouldn't have to. It shouldn't have to be this hard?"  
  
"Then how come it is?" Monica said softly.  
  
"Mon, I can make it plain and simple for you," Rachel stated, "Follow you heart. Be true to your heart. And you'll figure out what to do."  
  
***  
  
That night, Chandler sat in his apartment, absent mindedly flipping through the televison. As he looked around the apartment, he noticed it only vaguely resembled his old bachelor pad in Philadelphia. Instead, this new apartment looked as though it belonged to.....well, the only word to describe it was a father. He refrigerator was covered with Ryan and Micaela's artwork, and toys Ryan and Micaela had left here on their frequent visits were scattered about the room. When Chandler had lived in Philadelphia, that kind of thing would've bothered him. A lot. But here......it felt right.  
  
Except for these past few days. These past few days hadn't felt right. He hadn't seen or spoken to Monica at all. He'd seen Ryan at baseball practice, but that'd been the extent of it. He hadn't seen Micaela at all. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He sighed. Why had he ever opened his stupid mouth.  
  
Suddenly, the door to his apartment flew open. Chandler jumped up from the couch, prepared to protect himself. But it was not a burgular at his door.  
  
"Monica?" he asked. "What are you doing?"  
  
As she started walking towards him, she uttered one sentence, "Following my heart," she said, as she reached him and leaned up to kiss him.  
  
Baby, I knew at once that you were meant for me  
  
Deep in my soul I know that I'm your destiny  
  
Though you're unsure, why fight the tide  
  
Don't think so much, let your heart decide  
  
Baby, I see your future and it's tied to mine  
  
I look in your eyes and see you searching for a sign  
  
But you'll never fall, 'Til you let go  
  
Don't be scared, of what you don't know  
  
True to your heart  
  
You must be true to your heart  
  
That's when the heavens will part  
  
And baby, shower you with my love  
  
Open your eyes  
  
Your heart can tell you no lies  
  
And when you're true to your heart  
  
I know it's gonna lead you straight to me  
  
(Got to be true to your heart)  
  
Someone you know is on your side can set you free  
  
I can do that for you if you believe in me  
  
Why second-guess, what feels so right  
  
Just trust your heart, and you'll see the light  
  
True to your heart  
  
You must be true to your heart  
  
That's when the heavens will part  
  
And baby, shower you with my love  
  
Open your eyes  
  
Your heart can tell you no lies  
  
And when you're true to your heart  
  
I know it's gonna lead you straight to me  
  
(Got to be true to your heart)  
  
(Ya know it's true) Your heart knows what's good for you  
  
(Good for you) Let your heart show you the way  
  
(Ya know it's true) It'll see you through  
  
(Got to be true to your heart)  
  
Girl, my heart is driving me to where you are  
  
Well, you can take both hands off the wheel and still get far  
  
Be swept away, enjoy the ride  
  
You won't get lost  
  
With your heart to guide you.  
  
When things are gettin' crazy (crazy)  
  
And you don't know where to start (to start)  
  
Keep on believin', baby (baby)  
  
Just be true to your heart  
  
When all the world around you (baby)  
  
It seems to fall apart (apart)  
  
Keep on believin', baby (baby)  
  
Just be true to your heart  
  
(Got to be true to your heart)  
  
hope you enjoyed that....now PLEASE REVIEW! 


	11. The Next Day

Okay, here's chapter eleven! Thanks for reviewing! I love getting so many, so please keep it up! And did anyone catch friends on Thursday? Was fantastic......as usual! Lol, anyways, ENJOY!  
  
Disclaimer: not mine. Get it? Got it? Good.  
  
Chapter Eleven  
  
Monica woke up the next morning in a strange bed. It took her a few moments to comprehend that it was Chandler's bed and that he was in there next to her, his arms wrapped lightly around her. She turned around and saw that he was already awake, staring at her.  
  
"Hey gorgeous," he murmured, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.  
  
"Hey," she smiled, "How'd you sleep?"  
  
"Wonderfully," he said softly, "And last night was pretty wonderful, too."  
  
"Yeah," she grinned, "It was. Listen, I'm sorry about turning you down so man-"  
  
He didn't let her finished. Instead, he pressed a finger to her lips, "It's all in the past now," he said gently, "What matters is that you didn't turn me down last night."  
  
"Yeah," she smiled, "But I want you to know why I did it. Please just let me explain," he nodded, and she continued, "It's just.....Chandler, I was so scared. I'd already lost the one person in my life who I'd ever loved. Losing him was so hard, and I just.....I know I could never go through it again, losing somebody I love. So I was scared. Scared to let you in because I knew the more I got involved with you, the greater the chance I'd loose you. Not just that you'd die, but that we'd break up, or something. But then I realized that we......we work. We're perfect for each other. And I finally decided that the benefits of being with you outweighed the disadvantages by a million."  
  
As she finished, he smiled, leaned over and kissed her. "You're right," he whispered, "We are perfect. We do work. And I promise, with all my heart, that I will do everything in my power to keep from hurting you."  
  
She smiled and snuggled up against his chest, enjoying the comfortable silence and warmth.  
  
"Hey," he said after a few minutes, breaking the silence, "Can I ask a question?"  
  
"Sure," she said.  
  
"Uh, where are Ryan and Micaela?"  
  
She laughed, "They're both at sleep-overs. I knew we'd wind up or talking all night or....." she smiled mischievously, "doing other stuff."  
  
He laughed. "You know, I wouldn't mind doing some more stuff if you're up to it?"  
  
She smiled, "Most definitely."  
  
***  
  
"You little slut!" Rachel said cheerily as Monica told her about the previous night, "Sleeping together before the first date! Shame on you."  
  
Monica laughed. She knew very well that Rachel was downright thrilled. "All right, I'm a slut," she said, "But you've wanted this to happen for months."  
  
Rachel grinned, "Oh, I know. So, how was he?"  
  
Monica shook her head, and hit Rachel lightly. But in spite of Rachel, she smiled.  
  
It felt good to smile again.  
  
***  
  
A few days later, as Ryan and Chandler walked home from the playground after playing a game of basketball, Ryan spoke up, "Hey, Chandler?'  
  
"Yeah, bud?"  
  
"Did something happen between you and my mom?"  
  
Chandler laughed. For a seven-year-old, he certainly was intuitive. "How'd you figure that out?" he asked.  
  
Ryan smiled slyly, "Uncle Ross told me to ask you," he said, "He said Aunt Rachel hinted at it, but wouldn't tell him."  
  
Chandler laughed, "That sounds like your uncle, all right."  
  
"So," Ryan asked, "DID something happen?"  
  
Chandler ruffled the boy's hair, "Ry, I think if your mom wanted to tell you something, she'd tell you. And if she wanted to tell your uncle, she'd probably tell him, too."  
  
"Naw," said Ryan, "She says Uncle Ross can't hear anything without puttin' his two cents in," he stopped, "Chandler, why does Uncle Ross gotta put in money? And where does he put it?"  
  
Chandler laughed at Ryan's confusion, "Let me explain, bud,"  
  
Anyone walking down the street would've thought they were staring at happy father and son, and as Chandler thought about, he realized something.  
  
Those people would've been right. Maybe not by blood, no. But by heart?  
  
Most definitely.  
  
***  
  
"Hey, little sis!" Ross said happily into the phone, "How're things going?"  
  
"Well, good. Listen, I was, uh, wondering if maybe you could watch the kids for me tonight."  
  
"How come?" Ross said suspiciously.  
  
"Uh.....work thing," Monica said, "Yeah, work thing."  
  
"Mon, you are a horrible liar. What are you REALLY doing?"  
  
"All right, so I have a date," Monica said.  
  
"With...." Ross started.  
  
"Chandler," Monica sighed, "I'm actually surprised your wife hasn't told you already."  
  
"So am I," laughed Ross, "but guess who did?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Your son," Ross said, laughing uncontrollably.  
  
Monica shook her head, "How the heck did he even know," she screeched.  
  
"Apparently you're not as good at the sneaking around thing as you thought," Ross said.  
  
"Oh my gosh, he didn't......."  
  
"He just saw you kiss Chandler good-bye one night," Ross laughed as he heard Monica breathe a huge sigh of relief, "But he's a smart kid," he continued, "He picked up the rest."  
  
Monica laughed, "That's my boy," she said, "Anyway, back to the reason I called. Can you watch them?"  
  
"Nope, sorry," Ross said, "Rachel and I have some thing for her work. We're leaving Olivia with Mom and Dad, though. Why don't you do the same?"  
  
"Yeah, uh, not such a good idea," Monica said quickly.  
  
"You haven't told them about Chandler, yet?"  
  
"Well, they know he exists, but not much else."  
  
"Well, not better time than the present to tell them," Ross suggested, "Unless you can cancel your date?"  
  
"Not exactly," Monica said, "It's some company party at Chandler's office. He told me days ago.......I don't know why I waited this long to get a sitter."  
  
"Well, then, guess you're stuck with Mom and Dad."  
  
Monica sighed. This was going to be interesting.  
  
***  
  
"So, Monica, why do we have the pleasure of watching our grandchildren tonight?" Judy Geller quizzed that night when Monica dropped off Micaela and Ryan.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Yes, why," said Judy, "You haven't used us as babysitters in so very long. What's come up tonight?"  
  
Monica sighed. There really was no getting out of it. She could lie, but Judy would eventually find out and not only berate her for dating, but also for lying. At least if she told the truth now, she could get out of one of them. "I, uh, have a date, Mom," she said softly, checking to see that Ryan and Micaela were safely out of earshot.  
  
Judy made a rude choking sound, "Excuse me? I believe I just heard you had a date. But that cannot be true."  
  
Monica put her hands on her hips, "And why not?"  
  
Judy raised her eyebrows, "Well, for one thing, you're a widow. In my experience, it's best for widows to stay widows, otherwise it is disrespectful to the deceased, which in this case, happens also to be your father's best friend!"  
  
"Mom-"  
  
"Don't interrupt me, Monica. I know what's best here. And further more, have you even taken a second to consider your children? You can't just start dating some stranger. How would you know how he would react to Ryan and Micaela?"  
  
"MOM-"  
  
"I said, don't interrupt me! Wait until I'm finished, darling. Now, this man, even though he is probably just out there to get some, could pose a threat to your children, not to mention the fact that your father will probably have a heart attack when he finds out you're trying to replace Richard, and......"  
  
But Monica couldn't take it any more. "MOM!" she screamed, "Do you think I'm stupid? Of course I wouldn't just date some random guy. Ryan and Micaela happen to absolutely love the man I'm dating."  
  
"And how would they know him?"  
  
Monica looked Judy straight in the eye, "Remember how you said you hadn't been babysitting lately? My boyfriend's been babysitting them, and he started out as their babysitter, NOT my boyfriend. He doesn't have kids of his own, and he's been doing all the dad stuff with Ryan and Micaela. They love him. I wouldn't do anything to put my children at risk. Geez, Mom, how stupid do you think I am?"  
  
"Well," Judy said coldly, "I still don't think it's appropriate for you to be dating this soon!"  
  
"Mom, have you ever thought that maybe Richard would've wanted me to be happy? And for that matter, would've wanted Ryan and Micaela to be happy as well? He would have. I know he would have. And Chandler makes me happy, he makes the kids happy. Richard would've wanted that. We're not replacing Richard, Mom, we're moving on. Maybe it's time you and Dad do that, too."  
  
With those words, Monica walked out the door.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! It's my birthday on wednesday........so consider it a present, kk? THANKS! 


	12. Meet the Parents

I had the best day ever, so I decided to update! Hehe! Anyways, thanks SO much for reviews and birthday wishes! Keep 'em coming......well, not the birthday wishes! Hehe, but definitely the reviews since I am really working to break 150! Thanks so much, and ENJOY!  
  
Disclaimer: they're not mine.  
  
Chapter Twelve  
  
"So you had to leave the kids with your parents?" Chandler asked later that night at the party.  
  
Monica nodded tiredly, "THAT was an experience," she said softly.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I had to tell them I was dating again. They didn't take it so well," she said, sighing.  
  
Chandler sighed along with her, "Why not?"  
  
"Well," Monica said softly, "I don't know if I ever told you this, but Richard was my dad's best friend. And Dad didn't take his death so well. But he wasn't even there when I dropped them off, it was my mom who gave me hell. She's just always disapproved of me. I don't know why, but it's always been that way. But she kept saying I was disrespecting Richard and putting Ryan and Micaela at risk."  
  
Chandler was silent, contemplating. Finally, he whispered, "Do you think you're disrespecting Richard?"  
  
Monica shook her head, "I think.....no, I know, he would've wanted me to be happy."  
  
Chandler grinned, "And are you?"  
  
Monica smiled, "Very."  
  
***  
  
The next day, Monica and Chandler arrived, together, to pick up Micaela and Ryan from Judy and Jack Geller's.  
  
Judy Geller opened the door with a smile that quickly faded into a cold frown when she saw that Monica was not alone. "And who is this man?" she asked.  
  
Monica took a deep breath, and replied calmly, "Mom, this is my boyfriend, Chandler. I thought you and Dad might like to meet him."  
  
Before Judy could respond, Micaela came running. "Chandler! Mommy!" she cried. Chandler grinned and knelt down, the little girl running into his open arms.  
  
"Hey, Cae," he said, scooping her up, and ignoring Judy's bitter glance, "How was your night?"  
  
Micaela shrugged, but she was smiling, "It was okay," she said, "Olivia cried A LOT! She's such a baby."  
  
Chandler and Monica both laughed, "Well, she's a lot younger than you, sweetie," Chandler said, and, kissing Micaela on the forehead, told her, "Cae, why don't you go play with your brother while your Mom and I talk to your grandma for a second."  
  
"Okay, Chandler," Micaela said.  
  
Monica smiled at the sight. If this didn't show Judy that her kids loved Chandler, she didn't know what would.  
  
Micaela ran back into the living room and Monica looked at Judy expectantly. Judy sighed, "Well, dear, it does seem as though Micaela likes your, erm, Chandler, is it?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am," Chandler said, extending his hand, "It's very nice to meet you. Ryan and Micaela talk about their grandma all the time."  
  
Judy nodded stiffly, "That's nice," she said.  
  
Monica had to keep from laughing. It was perfectly clear that Judy realized Monica had won this battle-but she was doing everything in her power to keep from admitting it.  
  
"Is Dad around?" Monica asked, "Maybe he'd like to meet Chandler."  
  
"He's out in the backyard with your son," Judy said, still rather coldly.  
  
"Thanks," Monica said, motioning Chandler to go with her. As soon as they were out of Judy's earshot, Chandler spoke.  
  
"Your mom's a real sweetheart," he said sarcastically.  
  
Monica laughed, "Chandler, she's in a good mood today. Don't even complain! But I think she likes you, she just doesn't want to admit it."  
  
"I hope so," Chandler said worriedly, "And maybe your dad will like me better?" he asked hopefully.  
  
"Oh, definitely. Even though he was closer to Richard, he's also closer to me than Mom."  
  
Chandler nodded, took a deep breath, and headed out to the backyard with Monica. As soon as Ryan heard his footsteps, he looked up from the game of Monopoly he was playing with Jack on the patio. "Chandler!" he called out, jumping up and running over.  
  
"Hey, bud!" Chandler said, ruffling Ryan's hair, and putting a protective hand on his shoulder.  
  
Jack stood up. "Well, Monica, who is this young man?" he asked.  
  
Monica smiled, "Dad, this is my boyfriend, Chandler."  
  
"He's our friend, too," Ryan added happily.  
Jack smiled, and extended his hand, "Well, Chandler, it's very nice to meet you," he said, "Micaela and Ryan were raving about you this weekend."  
  
Chandler blushed, "Thanks," he said, "It's very nice to meet you, too."  
  
Monica stood there, smiling.  
  
Once in awhile, parents did something right.  
  
***  
  
"So," Chandler said that night as he and Monica laid in bed together, "Your dad seems like a good guy."  
  
"He is," Monica said, sighing, "It's mostly just my mom."  
  
Chandler looked at her sadly, "What's with your mom?" he asked.  
  
Monica let another soft sigh escape, "I don't know," she said, "It just seems like she's always......"  
  
"Always what?"  
  
"Always been disappointed in me. Like I could never do anything right. Like when I married Richard, she told some friends I was marrying an older man because I couldn't get one my own age."  
  
"That's horrible!"  
  
Monica shrugged, "It's life. Or life with her, anyway. She's always done stuff like that."  
  
"To Ross, too?"  
  
Monica laughed, "Hell, no! Ross has always been her little baby. In her eyes, he can do no wrong. He's been married three times, with one illegitimate son, and yet, he's perfect. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but he has made mistakes, but in Mom's eyes, they don't count. But all of my mistakes count twice."  
  
Chandler sighed and tightened his arms around her, "You don't deserve that, you know," he said gently, "You're perfect."  
  
Monica looked up at him and smiled, "Thank you," she whispered.  
  
"No problem," he replied, kissing her softly.  
  
"I don't know I would've made it through this past couple of months without you, you know."  
  
Chandler smiled, "Honestly, I wouldn't of made it, either. I mean, I would've survived and everything, but my life would be so.....empty. You guys are my life. I'm so happy I found you."  
  
Monica smiled shakily. His words were so kind. But deep down, she really wondered just how happy he'd be when she told him the news she'd learned that night.  
  
Sorry that was a tad short, but I just got back from a tournement and I've been working all week. But hope you enjoyed, it.....please REVIEW! 


	13. News

Hey, everybody! Thanks SO much for the reviews......keep 'em coming! Anyways, we've arrived at Chapter 13. Okay, I can tell right now that some people are going to be happy with Monica's "news" and some aren't. But for those who aren't.......keep on reading, because there will be twists......there are ALWAYS twists in this story! Anyway, I hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving, and I hope you enjoy this chapter very much. PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine!  
  
Chapter Thirteen  
  
She'd suspected it for almost a month. Known it for sure for two days. And yet she couldn't work up the courage to tell him. It wasn't that she thought he'd be angry, in fact she probably suspected he'd be happy. But telling him, she realized, was admitting to herself it was true.  
  
And she couldn't do that.  
  
It was the first time in her life she was completely alone in a problem. Even when Richard had died, she'd had tons of people surrounding her and helping her. When Ryan had rebelled, Chandler had stepped into help her. But here, with this problem, she was completely alone. She knew she had choices and those choices......  
  
Scared her to death.  
  
***  
  
Monica went through the motions for the next few days, but every could tell she wasn't really there. Her mind was off someplace else. Chandler chalked it up to stress from their new relationship, but still, he worried. She'd never seemed like this, not even, according to Rachel, right after Richard's death. Even then, she'd held things together.  
  
But not now.  
  
Every night he stayed over, Chandler tried to get her to tell him. Over and over he told her he was there for her, and that whatever was going on, they'd figure it out together. But still, she stayed silent, at best offering a simple, "It's nothing."  
  
But Chandler knew all too well that it was not.  
  
***  
  
"Mon?" he asked that night as they climbed into bed, "Are we going to meet tomorrow at Micaela's play or do you want me to come over and drive."  
  
Monica shrugged, "I don't care, Chandler, whatever's easiest."  
  
"Well, if I come here straight from work-" he stopped as he realized she wasn't listening, "Mon?" he asked, "Are you even hearing this?"  
  
"No, Chandler, and I don't need to," she said tiredly, "We'll figure it out later, okay?"  
  
"Monica, why is it always later?" Chandler said, his voice beginning to get an edge, "Why can't we talk about it now? Why can't we talk about anything now?"  
"Chandler, don't get started, okay? I'm too tired."  
  
"That's just it, Monica," Chandler said, trying his best to keep his voice under control, "You're ALWAYS too tired! There is something wrong and you won't tell me and I need to know so I can help you."  
  
"Chandler, I've told you, there is NOTHING wrong!" Monica said forcefully.  
  
"Monica," Chandler said, and now he was struggling to keep from crying, "There is, obviously. Please, please, whatever it is, I'm not going to be mad."  
  
"Chandler," Monica said through her clenched teeth, "Leave me alone."  
  
"No, Monica, I can't!" he said, and lost all control of his voice, "You're suffering and I want to, no I need to know why. Because I love you and when someone I love is suffering, I'm suffering, too."  
  
"Chandler, this isn't your problem. Just stay out of it."  
  
"No!" he said, "Monica, if you can't tell me what's going on, then I can't stay here, I'm sorry I just can't. Not until you tell me."  
  
Monica looked at him straight in the eye, "Then leave, Chandler," she said softly, "Leave right now."  
  
It took a moment for him to register her words, but realizing she meant them, he sighed, gathered his things and left.  
  
The second she heard the door to the house slam, Monica threw herself on to her bed and sobbed.  
  
***  
  
It took Chandler only a few hours to realize he did not function well without Monica. That night, he tossed and turned in bed, desperately wanting to have her next to him. But at the same time, he knew he couldn't stand to be lying next to her, knowing she was hurting and not telling him why. But he couldn't stand being away from her, either. It was a no win situation.  
  
Chandler did sleep that night. But for one reason.  
  
He cried himself to sleep.  
  
***  
  
"Mommy, is Chandler coming to my play?" Micaela asked sweetly the next morning.  
  
"I don't know, baby," Monica said in an exhausted voice, "We'll see if he shows up, okay?"  
  
Micaela bit her lip, "But I thought he was coming," she whined, "He promised."  
  
Monica sighed. She hadn't slept all night. "Cae, we'll see, okay?"  
  
Micaela nodded, her eyes sad. From across the breakfast table, Ryan watched the scene unfold. He'd heard Chandler yelling last night, and he'd heard the door slam. Even though he was young, Ryan wasn't unfamiliar with breakups. He terrified that his mom and Chandler might've broken up.  
  
If there was one thing that couldn't happen, that was it. Ryan knew that if Chandler and his mom broke up, Chandler would probably have to break off ties with the entire family.  
  
And the departure of Chandler would, most definitely, Ryan knew, lead to the fall of the Burke family. They couldn't survive without Chandler.  
  
And Ryan was determined to make sure they wouldn't have to.  
  
***  
  
The next morning, before his mother and sister had even stirred, Ryan awoke and tiptoed downstairs. Picking up the cordless phone, he brought it into the downstairs bathroom and dialed the phone number he'd learned by heart-Chandler's.  
  
"Hello?" a groggy voice asked.  
  
"Chandler?" Ryan asked softly.  
  
"Ryan?" Chandler asked disbelievingly.  
  
"Yeah," Ryan said softly, "Chandler, how come you didn't sit with us at Micaela's play last night?"  
  
Chandler sighed, "Ryan, I don't think I should be going into this with you. This is your mom and my business."  
  
"No-uh, Chandler, it's mine, too. Because my mom is part of my family. And you're part of my family, too. And I want my family to stay together. I don't care what problems you and my mom are having, you have to work it out. For Micaela and me. You just have to."  
  
"Ryan, it's not that simple," Chandler said.  
  
"Yea, it is!" Ryan argued, "You love each other, I know you do! And if you love each other, then you have to make it work."  
  
Chandler sighed, "Ryan, does your mom know you're calling me?"  
  
"No, she doesn't," Ryan said sheepishly, "But Chandler, my mom is miserable! She needs you. WE need you. Come back. Please!"  
  
"Ry, I can only promise to make an effort. I'll come back and talk to your mom, but sometimes adults have problems, Ryan."  
  
"Just one try, Chandler. That's all I want."  
  
"All right," Chandler said, "One try. For you, Ry." ***  
  
Ryan and Micaela were already at school by the time the doorbell rang. Monica, who had the day off from work, got up from her self-pity party and went to answer it. "Chandler?" she breathed as she saw who was there, "I thought I told you-"  
  
"Monica," he interuptted her, "I got a call from your son this morning and he begged me to talk to you. So please, let me talk to you. Give me five minutes and if after that, you want to kick me out, you can, okay?" Monica nodded, and he continued, "Mon, I won't lie and say it doesn't bother me that you're not telling me something. But if you want to keep it to yourself, well, as long as it's not harmful to you, then fine. But if it is......then, Mon, you have to understand the only reason I want you to tell is because I can't stand to see you hurting. But I won't force you, either. Because I realized that even if you can't tell me something, I still can't walk away from this relationship unless you tell me to. I can't live without you, Mon. I just can't function. You're my everything and you're the reason I wake up in the morning. And Ryan and Micaela, too. You can say if we broke up, I'd still hang out with them, but it wouldn't work. We both know that. And I need them, Mon, every bit as much as I need you. I need all of you. Please, Mon, give me another chance."  
  
Monica's eyes were filling with tears, "What's wrong, baby?" Chandler asked softly.  
  
Monica shook her head, "It's just.......here you are apologizing when this whole thing is my fault to begin with."  
  
"No," Chandler said forcefully, "it's not your fault. You didn't want to tell me something and I tried to force you, and that's wrong."  
  
Monica shook her head, the tears now falling freely, "Chandler," she whispered, "You were right. There was something I wasn't telling you, and I have to tell you."  
  
Chandler put an arm around her and helped her to sit down, "Tell me, baby," he said gently, "I'm not gonna get mad. I swear."  
  
Monica took a deep breath and choked out, "Chandler, I'm pregnant."  
  
Chandler was silent for a few minutes. Then, finally, he pulled her in close and kissed the top of her head, "Thank God," he said softly, "Thank you, thank you."  
  
Monica looked at him oddly, "What's that for?" she said.  
  
"Mon......I have been so scared these past few days," he said, his voice shaky, "I envisioned you finding out you were sick, or dying or something......this, this compared to all that is wonderful news. It's wonderful news anyway."  
  
Monica looked at him with sad eyes, "Chandler," she said finally, "You don't understand. I don't......I don't know if I want to have this baby."  
  
TBC.....  
  
thanks for reading, now.....press that lil purple button and REVIEW the hell outta this chapter! 


	14. Missing Dad

Hey everyone! Thanks for the FANTASTIC outpour of reviews on chapter 13. Oh, and for those of you who thought I might be heading towards abortion, I promise I am not. I wouldn't do that in a fanfic im pretty sure is rated PG! Lol! Anyway, here's chapter 14. It's a little short, and for that I apologize, but it needs to end on the note it does. Anyway, please enjoy, and REVIEW just like chp 13!  
  
Disclaimer: the characters aren't mine, except for Ryan and Micaela.  
  
Chapter Fourteen  
  
It took Chandler a second to even comprehend what Monica had just said. Monica, who loved her children more than anything didn't want their baby? How could she feel that way? This wasn't some teenage girl Chandler had gotten pregnant. This was Monica, a responsible woman who was a fantastic mother. Finally, after all those thoughts finished whizzing through Chandler's head he looked Monica in the eye and said, "What?"  
  
Monica choked back a sob as she whispered, "Chandler, I don't think I can have this baby."  
  
"But........but why?"  
  
Monica was silent for a long time, looking down at her lap, wringing her hands. "Chandler," she finally whispered, "After Richard died and before you came, I......struggled every second to raise just two children. It's the hardest thing in the world, raising them by yourself when they're so used to having a daddy around, too. So if......if I have another baby, and something happens to you, Chandler, there's just no way I'd be able to raise three kids by myself. I couldn't do it."  
  
Chandler spoke no words but simply pulled her in closer to him. "Oh, Mon," he murmured, stroking her hair. Finally, he gathered his thoughts and said, "Monica, first off.....if something did happen to me, and God forbid it did, I know you would be able to cope with three kids. You know why? Because you are the strongest woman on the planet and you have an amazing ability to cope with anything. I certainly wouldn't want to make you raise three kids alone, but I know you'd learn to do it. And there'd be so many people who'd help you, you know that. Ross and Rachel, and you know my friend Joey would be here in a second if you needed him. But, Mon.......I don't plan on going anywhere, you know that. So the only way you'd have to worry about me leaving is if I died. And Mon, we can't predict our deaths, okay? You could die just as easily as I could and then I'd be raising the kids. So yeah, there's a chance that one of us could die, but there's also a chance that we could both live until we're old and gray. But, Mon, in order to actually live a life......you can't constantly be worrying about that small chance that something might happen."  
  
Monica looked at him, "You're right," she whispered, "This just......it came at a bad time.....it's almost the anniversary and........Chandler, I miss him. I miss him so much," those were the only words she got out before she broke down sobbing.  
  
Chandler knew words wouldn't help this time. So he pulled his arms around her tighter and rocked her back and forth, gently stroking her hair. Just letting her cry.  
  
He knew that was what she needed.  
  
***  
When Ryan and Micaela arrived home from school that afternoon, both were thrilled to find Chandler sitting on the couch. "Chandler!" Micaela squealed as she hopped into his lap. "You're here!"  
  
"Yep, sweets, I am. And I have to say, Cae, excellent play the other night!"  
  
Micaela grinned, "Thanks, Chandler."  
  
Ryan eyed Chandler closely, "You came back," he said softly.  
  
"Yep, bud, I did," Chandler said, not wanting to go into it more in front of Micaela. "Hey, Cae, why don't you go play in the playroom, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes."  
  
"'Kay! Hey, where's Mommy?" Micaela asked.  
  
"She's sleeping, honey. Don't bother her, okay?" Micaela nodded and ran off. Chandler motioned for Ryan to sit down.  
  
"Did you and Mom make up?" Ryan asked.  
  
Chandler nodded, "We did. Ry, I just wanted to thank you. It was a good idea to call, and it helped a lot."  
  
Ryan smiled. "I knew it would," he said, "What were you fighting about anyway?"  
  
Chandler sighed, "We weren't.....fighting. Your mom was just a little bit sad, Ry."  
  
"How come?"  
  
Chandler smiled. Ryan wanted to know every little detail, didn't he? "Well, Ry, she just.......she missed your dad an awful lot."  
  
Ryan looked down at his feet, "Even though you're here?" he asked.  
  
Chandler nodded, "It's okay to miss people even if there are new people in your life. I don't mind that your mom misses him."  
  
"So you......you wouldn't mind if I missed him?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Oh, Ry.....of course not. You have every right to miss your dad."  
  
Ryan sighed softly, "'Cause I do," he whispered, "I miss him a lot. I mean, you do a lot of the stuff he used to do, but.....I just, I still miss him."  
  
"I know you do, Ry. And as much as I hate to say this, you probably always will. Nothing's ever going to take away that pain of someone missing from your life."  
  
"So I'm always gonna be sad?"  
  
Chandler chuckled, "No, Ry, you're not always going to be sad, unless you force yourself to be. Because I think......I think your dad would really want you to be happy, even if he's not here. But you're not going to forget him."  
  
Ryan smiled, "No, I'm not. But you're right, he'd want us to be happy."  
Chandler nodded, and shooed Ryan off the couch, "Okay, bud, then let's go play that game of basketball I promised you."  
  
Ryan grinned, and ran off to grab his sneakers. But before he reached the closet, he turned to Chandler, "Hey, Chandler?" he said, "Thanks."  
  
"For what?" Chandler asked, confused.  
  
"Making us happy again," Ryan said, and ran off to grab his sneakers.  
  
***  
  
Chandler let an exhausted Monica sleep through the afternoon, feeding the kids himself, helping them with their homework and finally, putting them to bed. Finally, after Ryan and Micaela had already been sleeping an hour, Monica wandered back into the living room.  
  
"Hey, sleepyhead," he said gently as she collapsed onto the couch next to him, "How're you feeling?"  
  
"Much better," Monica said softly, "I haven't really slept in so long."  
  
Chandler nodded, "Are you, uh, ready to talk about all of this now?"  
  
Monica sighed, "I guess so," she said, "What's there to talk about? You're right, I am going to keep the baby, so what else is there?"  
  
Chandler sighed, "Well......there's us. What's happening with us?"  
  
"What do you mean? Aren't you going to stay?"  
  
Chandler laughed, "Of course I am! Did you think I was going to leave you?"  
  
"It went through my head," she said.  
  
"I'd never do that, and you know it. No, I'm staying. What I mean is.....do you want everything to stay like this, even though we're having a baby? Do you want to stay boyfriend and girlfriend? Or get married? Because you know I'd marry you in a second. Just say the word and I'd propose right here and now."  
  
Monica sighed and pulled away, "Chandler.....with all that's happening, I just.....I just don't think it's the best idea right now. Maybe later, when things have settled down, but......right now I'm just not ready."  
  
Chandler smiled forcefully, "Okay," he lied, "Whatever you want. You know I'll do whatever you want."  
  
Monica sighed, and leaned back into his arms, wondering if, indeed that was really what she wanted.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! 


	15. Not So Simple

All righty.....soo, I was on a debate tournement, and guess what happened? The bus' engine blew up. That's right, blew up. On the side of a highway in Connecticut. It was one hell of an experience.....! anyways, I decided to post this, and also ask a question along with it. I'm thinking of writing a new fic after this one, and I have the idea for it, so I wanted to run it by you guys and ask if it'd be a good idea. So here's the title and summary. "This Everyday Love"-when Chandler's "everyday love" is abruptly taken from him, he'll do anything to bring her home, even if it means giving up everything he has....  
  
Okay, so I know it sounds weird, but I don't want to give away the whole plot. It's very different from what I usually write but....well, if it sounds like you may want to read it, lemme know in ur reviews! THANKS for the reviews on chp. 14! Hope you enjoy this one!  
  
Disclaimer: not mine!  
  
Chapter Fifteen  
  
Things had settled down by the time Monica's first doctor's appointment arrived. Chandler and Monica had told their friends and relatives, and though Judy hadn't been thrilled that Monica was having a baby out of wedlock, she'd accepted the fact that this was the way things were. Rachel, however, was thrilled, convinced that this baby would push Monica to marry Chandler, the only thing Rachel had ever wanted from the beginning. Joey's thoughts were similar. At first, Ryan and Micaela had been a bit hesitant about a new baby, but once Monica and Chandler convinced them how much fun it would be, they become excited.  
  
So, two weeks after Monica told Chandler, they arrived together at Dr. Miller's office. Chandler paced the waiting room nervously as they waited. "Chandler, honey, calm down!" Monica said, laughing.  
  
Chandler sighed and sat down next to her, "I'm sorry," he said, "I've just, I've never done this before."  
  
Monica chuckled, "Believe me, I've done it two times and I'm still nervous. But I'm not making a scene."  
  
Chandler smiled, "I'm sorry. I just want everything to be okay."  
  
"It will be," Monica assured him.  
  
A few minutes later, Monica lay on the examining table and Dr. Miller entered. "Good morning," she greeted cheerfully, "How are you feeling, Monica?"  
  
"I'm good," she said, "Not as much morning sickness as there was with Micaela."  
  
Dr. Miller smiled, "That's good. By the way, how are Micaela and Ryan?"  
  
Monica grinned, "They're very good. Excited about having a new little brother or sister."  
  
"That's good," Dr. Miller said, and she glanced at Chandler oddly, "And who is this?" she asked. Monica suddenly realized that Dr. Miller knew nothing of Richard's death.  
  
Monica bit her lip, "Uh, this is the baby's father, Chandler."  
  
Dr. Miller nodded, confused. "Do you mind if I asked what happened to Richard?"  
  
"He, uh, well he died about two years ago," Monica said softly, and Chandler squeezed her hand comfortingly.  
  
Dr. Miller nodded again, "I'm very sorry," she said softly, "I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories."  
  
"It's okay," Monica said gently, "Sometimes it's good to think about bad memories."  
  
Dr. Miller smiled and extended her hand to Chandler, "Well, Chandler, it's very nice to meet you. I'm sure you make Monica very happy. Now, let's get this sonogram going."  
  
Dr. Miller started up the machine, and soon she was guiding it over Monica's stomach as Chandler held Monica's hand tightly.  
  
"Well, Monica," Dr. Miller said, "Everything looks excellent," she said, pushing the screen towards Monica and Chandler. She pointed out the baby and said, "I'll leave you two along for a moment."  
  
"Wow," Chandler breathed when Dr. Miller had left, "That's.....that's our baby."  
  
"Yeah," Monica said, smiling, "It is."  
  
Chandler grinned and kissed Monica's forehead. Before he'd met the Burkes, he'd celebrated when the Yankees had won the World Series, or when the Knicks made it to the playoffs. Those had been the significant moments in his life.  
  
But as he stared as his baby, he realized something. All of those moments combined didn't even begin to compare to this one.  
  
***  
  
Two Months Later:  
  
"So how're things between you and the daddy?" Rachel teased as she talked to a four month pregnant Monica in her kitchen.  
  
Monica stuck her tongue out at Rachel, "Things are fine," she said defiantly, "He's still really excited about the baby, as am I."  
  
"But not so excited that you're willing to marry the baby's daddy?"  
  
Monica's mouth fell open, "Who told you that?" she said accusingly.  
  
Rachel laughed, "He told Ross who in turn told me. That brother of yours has a big mouth."  
  
Monica shook her head, "Rachel," she sighed, "Don't start in on me, okay?"  
  
"Mon, I went over this with you when you were hesitant to date the guy! You love him, the kids love him-it's that simple!"  
  
"Except it's not, Rach!"  
"How, Mon? How is it not simple? When you loved Richard, you married him! You didn't even think twice about it!"  
  
Monica glared at Rachel, "You know that guy you just mentioned? Yeah, he's why it's not so simple!" On those words, she walked out of the kitchen, slamming the door.  
  
***  
  
The noise of the slamming door still reverberating in her head, Monica walked out to her car, happy that the kids were at the park with Chandler so she could drive off.  
  
When she started her car trip, she had really no idea where she was going, however, she eventually wound up at the graveyard. Once there, she exited her car and walked to the grave whose place she knew so well.  
  
Monica knelt in front of the granite stone, sighing softly and wondering if this would ever get any easier. Chandler knew she came here sometimes, just to think and to talk to Richard. He told her he didn't mind, but Monica wondered if he really meant that.  
  
"Hey, Richard," she said softly, running her fingers over the cool granite, "So I guess you probably know I'm pregnant, huh? Sometimes I wonder if you'd be okay with that. I mean, I know you know I always wanted another baby and all, but......." She sighed. So many people had told her that Richard would've wanted her to be happy, and she'd always just nodded along. She wasn't sure if she really believed it. Would Richard really want her to be happy with another man? With another man's baby?  
  
She sighed quietly and spoke to the stone, "I just.....Richard, I need to know you're okay with this. I need.....I need some kind of closure. To know that we're over and that you.....that you're okay with that," with that, she looked up towards the sky, "Send me a sign," she begged, "send me a sign."  
  
***  
  
Chandler arrived at Joey's doorstep that evening and knocked on the door, praying Joey would be home. Surprisingly, he was, and he opened the door. "Hey, man, what're you doing here?" Joey asked.  
  
Chandler sighed loudly and shrugged, collapsing into a barcalounger, "I don't know," he said, "I needed......I needed to get away to think, I guess. So I got in my car and I wound up here."  
  
"What's wrong?" Joey asked, "Problems in paradise?" Off of Chandler's glare, he muttered, "Sorry."  
  
"It's just.....God, Joe, I love her so much, but I just.....a part of her heart still belongs to Richard. And I guess......I'm okay with that, because I knew all along that'd be the case. But I guess.....we're having a baby, Joe, and she won't marry me. And it's not because of the baby, it's because of Richard. I just know it is! And I just.....I don't know if I can take holding off on marriage forever."  
  
"Do you really think she'll never marry you?" Joey asked skeptically.  
  
Chandler shrugged, "Right now it sure seems like that. She's been so distant lately. I mean, we're both excited about the baby and all, but I guess I'm the only one who, from the beginning, has been excited that the baby might bring us closer together. She doesn't seem to see that it should."  
  
Joey sighed, "Chandler, all I really know about Monica is that she's been to hell and back with this whole Richard thing. You can't expect her to recover so quickly."  
  
Chandler was quiet for a long time and suddenly realized that Joey was completely right. "God," he whispered to himself, "I've been so selfish. All I've been thinking about is me and the baby and how the baby affects my life, but......"  
  
"It's okay, man," Joey said, "It happens to the best of us, but just....let Monica know that you're not in any rush."  
  
"Yeah," Chandler said softly, "I guess I've got to do that." On that, he picked up his duffel and rushed out the door.  
  
"Wait, man!" Joey called, "Aren't you gonna stay? You just got here!"  
  
"Sorry, Joe," said Chandler, "But I've got a family at home who needs me, and a girlfriend who needs to know the truth."  
  
Joey smiled, "All right then, get outta here!" He slammed the door and smiled. "I really ought to consider a career as a relationship counselor," he said to himself, and flopped down into his barcalounger.  
  
***  
  
"Monica?" a soft voice asked. Monica looked around and saw that she was sitting in a small white room with only two tiny chairs. She looked across to see who was sitting in the opposite chair and took in her breath sharply when she saw who it was.  
  
hehe....cliffhanger, PLEASE REVIEW! And lemme know about that story I proposed! 


	16. Monica's Sign

Hey everyone. Well, here's chapter sixteen. There's one more chapter after this, but I'll only post it if you want me too. This may be the last update for some time, though, as my grandmother just passed away, and I have to head down to CT for her funeral. But please send me reviews-they make all the difference in a very difficult time!  
  
Disclaimer: not mine  
  
Chapter Sixteen  
  
"Monica?" a soft voice asked. Monica looked around and saw that she was sitting in a small white room with only two tiny chairs. She looked across to see who was sitting in the opposite chair and took in her breath sharply when she saw who it was.  
  
"Richard?" she asked incredulously.  
  
"Yeah," he said smiling tightly, "It's me, honey. But, look, I've got to make this quick. The Big Guy doesn't give me much time."  
  
"What? The Big Guy? Richard, what's going on? Where are where?"  
  
"The Acceptance Room," Richard said softly, "It's a room somewhere between Heaven and Earth and God, the Big Guy, sent me down here to tell you something. He brought you up here, but you'll go back to Earth just as soon as I'm finished, okay?"  
  
Monica nodded, still as confused as ever, but anxious to hear what Richard had to say. She motioned for him to continue, and he did. "Okay," he said quickly, "look, Mon, I've got to tell you something. You have to move on from me. If I had know I was going to die that day, then that would've been the first thing I would've told you before I left. I have no problem with you moving on and getting married, and having more kids, and having Micaela and Ryan adopted by your new husband. In fact, that's what I want to happen."  
  
"You want that?" Monica said in a hushed voice.  
  
Richard nodded, "I know it sounds weird, honey, but I love you so much and I only want for you to be happy. And if it can't be with me, then it has to be with somebody else. I can see people have been telling you that, and you haven't really been listening. But it's true. It's so true. That's all I want, all I ever wanted. I want all of you, you and the kids, to be happy. And if getting remarried makes you happy, then that's what I want you to do."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
Richard smiled, "Absolutely. And besides, Mon, this Chandler guy, I've been watching him and he's great. If the Big Guy had let me choose who you should remarry, then I would've chosen him. The kids love him. And you love him. I can see it. So I want you to make him happy, too, and marry him. That's what he wants. That's what you want. And that's what I want."  
  
Monica nodded slowly, tears welling in her blue eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, "Thank you."  
  
Richard smiled, "You asked for a sign," he said, "You got one." On those words, he disappeared.  
  
***  
  
Monica sat up in bed, breathing heavily, and trying to comprehend what had just happened, or at least, what she thought had just happened.  
  
Had it been a dream? Or was it real?  
  
She wasn't sure. But there was thing she was sure of.  
  
Either way, she'd gotten her sign.  
  
***  
  
Chandler had sped down the expressway, flew down the highways and raced down the residential streets in his town. He finally arrived at Monica's, both surprised and relieved he'd hadn't gotten a ticket. He pulled into the driveway and jumped out his car, and checking his watch, realized both the kids were at school. He smiled, knowing that would make things easier.  
  
He opened the door and yelled out, "Mon? I'm home!"  
  
Monica appeared at the top of the stairs, "Hey, honey," she said softly, "I missed you."  
  
"I missed you, too," he said, "But listen, we've got to talk," he said.  
  
"Yeah," she said, "We do. I have to tell you something."  
  
"Okay, well I've got news first," he said, and she came downstairs, the two of them settling themselves on the couch.  
  
"Okay," he began slowly, taking a deep breath, "Mon, I went to Joey's yesterday and he made me realize something. Something important. Mon, I've been being so selfish. I've only been thinking about me, and the baby, and how the baby would affect me, and how it was best to get married, and all that other crap. But.....I wasn't thinking of you. And I should be. Mon, it's barely been three years since Richard died, and I'm trying to force you to move on, and I shouldn't be asking you to marry me when clearly you're not-"  
  
He stopped as Monica laid a finger on his lips, "Chandler," she said, "Shut up."  
  
He gave her a hurt, confused look, "What?" he said.  
  
"Chandler, neither of us has been selfish. But you're right, I hadn't moved on, because.....I wasn't sure Richard would be okay with us. But I'm sure now. And I'm sure of something else, too."  
  
"What's that?" Chandler said hesitantly.  
  
"I'm ready to marry you," Monica said, grinning, "I want to marry you, and I want to have this baby, and hopefully other babies, and I want you to adopt Ryan and Micaela, and I want us to be a family."  
  
"Are you sure?" Chandler asked softly.  
  
"Very sure," Monica said confidently.  
  
Chandler's face broke into a grin, "I love you so much," he said gently, "So very, very much."  
  
"I know," Monica said, "I love you too." With that, he leaned in and kissed her.  
  
For whatever reason, at that instant, he remembered a particular feeling he'd felt right after the crash. The feeling that he'd never be happy again. But as Monica's lips touched his, he realized that feeling could never be true, not with what had happened. Not only was he happy, but he was happier than ever.  
  
The kiss ended and Chandler wrapped his arms around Monica, kissing her hair. "What made you realize all this?" he said gently.  
  
Monica smiled, "Just a sign from Richard."  
  
"A sign?" Chandler asked.  
  
Monica shrugged, "Don't ask me, I'm still confused about it. But I had.....I had this dream, or maybe it was, I'm not really sure. But in.....whatever it was, Richard told me he wanted me to marry you. And I realized that if he's okay, than that's what I want. To marry you."  
  
Chandler smiled, "I knew he'd be okay," he said gently, "He was a great guy. He'd want you to be happy."  
  
"I know," Monica said softly, "Or, I know that now."  
  
"Yeah," Chandler said gently, and kissed her again, "Well," he said, when the kiss finished, "If you're ready then, I guess......Monica, will you marry me?"  
  
Monica looked at him skeptically and shook her head, "Nope," she said.  
  
"No?" Chandler asked.  
  
Monica laughed at his hurt, puppy dog expression, "You're gonna need a ring, Bing," she said, and Chandler laughed.  
  
"You're right," he said. He smiled. She deserved a ring. She deserved everything. And he planned to be the one who gave it to her.  
  
Please review.....I really need them. Tell me whether or not to post chapter seventeen! 


	17. Epilogue: Thank You

All right, everyone, THANKS SO MUCH for reviewing! You guys were awesome on the last chapter! Anyway, here's the epilogue-it's sort of short, but I just felt like I needed to wrap things up. Plus, I've enjoyed writing this, so I kinda wanted it not to end! Anyway, if you could, please, please, REVIEW! I got my 150, but maybe, maybe I could get 200....that would be awesome, so all you have to do is take one second to just send one ensy wensy review! Thanks, and enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: not mine  
  
Chapter Seventeen  
  
"Daddy, tell me the story of our guardian angel again," four-year-old Nicholas Bing said.  
  
Chandler grinned, "Well," he began, "Once upon a time, before Mommy and Daddy had ever met, there was a very nice man."  
  
"Ryan and Micaela's birth daddy!" Nicholas filled in.  
  
"Yep," Chandler said, "Ryan and Micaela's birth daddy. Well, one day, I was on a plane with Ryan and Micaela's daddy, and he told me about Mommy, and Ryan, and Micaela. He told me how wonderful they were, and I saw how great they were."  
  
"But the man died," Nicholas said sadly.  
  
"Yes," Chandler said, "He did die, and we still miss him. But he left me a great gift. Your mommy, and Ryan and Micaela. That's how Mommy and I met. And that's how you came about."  
  
Nicholas grinned, and finished the rest of the story himself, "And now that man is looking down from Heaven and protecting our whole family, right Daddy?"  
  
Chandler smiled, "Right, Nick," he said, kissing his son's forehead, "Now go to sleep. Mommy will be in in a second."  
  
"Love you, Daddy," Nicholas chirped.  
  
"Love you, too, Nicky," Chandler said as he left the room with a grin on his face.  
  
Monica smiled as she saw her husband outside of her youngest son's door, "What story did he ask for tonight?" she asked.  
  
"Guardian Angel," Chandler replied, and Monica smiled.  
  
"I like that story," she said, "It led us all here, after all."  
  
"Yeah," Chandler grinned, "It did." He kissed his wife of five years, and left to say goodnight to his youngest daughter, two-year-old Jordan.  
  
He stood in Jordan's room, just looking at her. She was already asleep, but sometimes, he just liked to stare at his children, amazed. He'd help to create that little person. Not just with his DNA, because his DNA had not helped to create Ryan and Micaela, who he considered just as much his as Nicholas and Jordan. But he'd helped form their personalities, he'd helped to give them feelings, and likes and loves, and dislikes. He, Chandler Bing, was a huge, amazing part of four little lives. And a huge part of one adult life.  
  
Wasn't it amazing that, six years ago, he hadn't been a huge part of anybody's life?  
  
He grinned at that realization, laid a soft kiss on Jordan's forehead and went to knock on ten-year-old Micaela's door. "Micaela, baby," he said gently, "Ready to go to sleep?"  
  
"Come in, Dad," Micaela replied and Chandler opened the door and sat on her bed. "Daddy, I'm sorry about what happened," Micaela said, referring to an incident that had taken place that afternoon, where Micaela had yelled at Chandler when he was arguing with her about leaving a huge school project to the last minute. Micaela had yelled a variety of things, but by far the most hurtful had been the statement she'd screamed last before stomping upstairs, "You're not my real dad!"  
  
Chandler smiled and stroked his daughter's hair, "I know you are, baby," he said gently, "I think we both said some things we didn't mean."  
  
"I know," Micaela replied, "But I'm sorry I said you weren't my real dad. 'Cause you are. Or at least, you're my real heart dad."  
  
Chandler grinned at Micaela's choice of words. He and Monica had raised all their children with the fact that Ryan and Micaela had two fathers, a birth father, and a heart father. They'd added in the guardian angel, story, too, and had also told both Ryan and Micaela about Chandler's brief meeting with their father. "I know, sweetie," Chandler said, "And you know I always love you, no matter what you consider me."  
  
Micaela smiled, "Love you, too, Daddy," she said, smiling.  
  
Chandler grinned and kissed her forehead.  
  
He arrived in Ryan's room a few minutes later. "Hey, bud," he said, sitting down on his twelve-year-old's bed.  
  
"Hey, Dad," Ryan said, "Talk to Micaela?" Ryan had been in the kitchen when Micaela had yelled.  
  
Chandler nodded, "Yeah," he said, "You know, Ry, sometimes it's good for you and Micaela to act out like that. You shouldn't let all your anger build up."  
  
"All our anger at what?"  
  
"At your dad being dead," Chandler said gently.  
  
Ryan smiled, "Dad," he began, "That dad up in Heaven, yeah, I miss him and all, but he died six years ago. You're the one here now. You're Dad. He's just birth Dad."  
  
Chandler grinned. That was exactely what he needed to hear. "Thanks, Ry," he said, and kissed his son's forehead, "Good night."  
  
"Night, Dad," Ryan said, "Love you."  
  
"Love you, too, son," Chandler said, and closed Ryan's door.  
Son. How many times had he thought he'd never be able to say that word? Many, he realized. Before the plane, he'd never thought he'd have a child, or get married. And now he had four children, and a beauti ful wife.  
  
Yeah, life was good.  
  
***  
  
Chandler found Monica downstairs, cleaning up the family room. "Hey, gorgeous," he said gently, "Nicky asleep?"  
  
"Yep," Monica said, "Did you talk to Micaela?"  
  
"Yeah," Chandler nodded, "We worked it out."  
  
"Good," Monica said, smiling, and collapsing down on the couch with Chandler.  
  
They sat there in a comfortable silence, just thinking, before Chandler finally said. "You know, I realized something today."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"That Richard's been our guardian angel for a lot longer that we've been telling the story."  
  
"How do you figure that?"  
  
Chandler smiled, "I wasn't gonna go to that one year anniversary thing," he said, referring to the place where their relationship had really started, "But.....then, I had this feeling, this really strong feeling that I should go. And I think.....I think it was Richard telling me to go."  
  
Monica smiled and Chandler pulled her closer. The happy couple looked up towards the sky and together, whispered two words, "Thank you."  
  
THE END! Thanks everyone for enjoying this fic-my next one, This Everyday Love, should be coming soon. But for the meanwhile, please REVIEW.....tell me how soon to post the next story! THANKS! 


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